Just Thinking

Aeta sat with his back to a wall, holding a silver throwing knife that was drenched in blood- his blood.

"Why, oh why, oh why...I dont understand....." He mumbled, shaking his head, then wincing from the pain of his side, which was covered by blood-stained bandages. "Why would I do this to myself? What would it gain me? Maybe.....Maybe I wasnt being self-centered, but thinking of another....Maybe something was occuring that required self-mutilation to save Jaden, or Zaine's spouse, or someone else.....Aghh! I dont get it! Why would i wake up with a dagger next to me covered in my own blood?! Why?!" He threw the dagger, watching it whistle through the air and stick into the wall in front of him.

"No...Dont clean it...Let it be infected-" He slapped himself, and looked into her eyes, his own showing deep sorrow. "I...I dont know whats happening...Recently...I've been wanting to kill myself....I...I...Help me!" He leaned forward, grabbing her shoulders and shaking them. "For the love of God, Jaden, please! Help me! I dont want to kill myself...I mean..I do..But...I dont....I dont want to leave you all alone...I....I dont know what to do....." He stayed that way, beginning to cry, then suddenly his ears perked up, as if he had thought of something. "I...Swear...With God as my witness, as well as you ((and these horses too, I guess))...I will...Be yours and yours alone...I will surrender all freedoms and rights to you, that I may not even move an inch without your sayso, ensuring that I never do something that will hurt you, or hurt me...." He hugged her against him, wincing as his bandages began to soak with new blood.