It was only a kiss

Helena had to take hold of a lamppost, when she slipped for the umpteenth time. She glared at her feet, Helena had put on new winter shoes she had bought that had low heels but they were basically useless. They had zero friction and though Helena looked really good in them they were not practical in the least.
Well, because she looked good in them was the reason Helena had worn them. She was meeting Hella, one of Destra's very good friends, and Helena just couldn't help but be a bit jealous of the girl, even if it made her feel petty and miserable. Hella was cute and close with Destra and seemed nice. At least Helena had gathered as much from when they had gone running together and from what Destra had told her. Helena knew that Destra and Hella had gone through a lot together, but Destra had never shared any details. Helena got that, it was Hella's business and for her to share. Rather she would've been angry at Destra if he had shared Hella's personal information

Helena straightened with an annoyed huff and continued walking towards the library. As always she had her handbag with her magical and normal makeup kit, and her whole outfit looked as good as her shoes. Helena just wanted to give a good impression inside out for Hella, maybe to also not let the girl see the ugly jealousy she had.
Helena sighed a bit and corrected her hair, she could already see the library on the street corner. Helena quickened her steps, only to almost slip and fall again, and walked rest of the way with normal speed. She wasn't exactly late after all, just on time actually.

Helena climbed the steps and opened the library doors only to see Hella right there in the lobby, waiting for her. Helena adopted a smile on her face and walked over to the girl, waving.
"Hi! Sorry if I kept you waiting for long. I-"
Helena interrupted herself as she observed Hella, the girl seemed even more nervous than usual and Helena frowned slightly with concern.
"Are you alright?"

Right after saying it Helena remembered Hella didn't like people apologizing or thanking her, and prepared for the snappy answer she had received before. But it didn't come. Instead Hella was polite about it, and Helena looked at her with slight surprise and new concern. Something really was wrong. That alone was clear from Hella's gestures, Helena was perceptive like that.

"It's good to see you too. This snow sucks, can't go running at all."
Helena said with a small careful smile and chuckled, trying not to act too cheery since something seemed to be wrong with Hella.

Helena frowned in confusion when Hella explained she needed to talk to her, that she messed up. What could this be about? Was Hella in trouble? If she was wouldn't she talk to Destra or Lynn rather than Helena? They were friendly but not nearly as close as the three of them.
"Yeah, of course. Let's go to one of the reading rooms, I'll hear you out there."
Helena gestured towards where the rooms were and headed in that direction as Hella followed her. On the way she had time to conjure up few more scenarios of what this could be about.

Helena found a free room and held the door open for Hella as they entered. Helena took off her jacket, under it she had a simple pink cashmere sweater, and hung it up. She sat down and smiled at Hella.
"Okay, now tell me why you messed up big time and why I don't want to hang out with you again."

Hella was so tense, and Helena tried to keep herself relaxed. She was able to stay composed when needed, although she often chose not to be, and now Helena felt like she had to stay composed. And that feeling was right, because Hella mentioned Destra and soon she wasn't the only tense one in the room. Helena became tense as well and looked at Hella, now very serious, the smile from moments ago nowhere to be seen. She observed the girl, and now the frown on her face wasn't just out of concern. But Helena didn't say anything, not before Hella got all she wanted out. But the words she used, that Destra had...comforted her, made Helena squeeze the hand she had in her lap in a fist. Helena's mind went into places she didn't want it to go into.

Hella had kissed him.
Hella had kissed Destra, had feelings for him.
The first feeling Helena had was, in all honesty, relief. She had imagined so, so much worse, and she wanted to hit herself for thinking Destra would do that to her. Yes, kissing could very easily be one-sided. Kissing wasn't a big deal from Destra's part if Hella had done it all on her own, like she claimed.
Still Helena decided to talk to Destra when he got back.

Helena stared at Hella, giving her, and herself, a moment of silence. Partly to make sure Hella didn't have anything to add. Helena felt like comforting the girl, when she saw that Hella looked like she could cry. But despite feeling sorry for Hella Helena was still angry. Yes, she was jealous, and possessive, and she liked and cared about Destra very much. And their relationship wasn't even a month old, so it wasn't weird Helena felt uncertainty. She had been aware that there had been something between him and Hella, and that had made her feel so insecure. And it turned out there was a good reason for her worry.

Helena took a breath and looked Hella straight into her black eyes. There was silent conviction and anger in hers.
"I'd be lying if I said that I wasn't upset. But I understand why you'd be smitten with Destra, he's a great guy. And for you even more than for me, I bet."
Helena sighed and leaned back in her chair, setting her hands on the table. The other one was still in a fist.
"I appreciate you telling me, thank you. It would've been easy for you to stay silent, I can imagine it wasn't easy telling it to me in my face like this."
Helena huffed a bit and smiled a bit, but her eyes weren't smiling.
"Is this the part where I bitchslap you and tell you to keep your hands off my boyfriend? Though I doubt my slap would do you much damage."

Helena wasn't forgiving Hella. Not exactly, not yet. She was merely accepting this, accepting what had happened, because it wasn't like she could do anything about it now. Hella had kissed Destra and Helena had to hear it from her, not him, which was truthfully a bit hurtful. Because as much as that could be a sign that the kiss meant nothing to Destra it could also mean everything. Helena was so scared, which option was the right one. She was scared, anxious, angry and jealous and was barely hiding these feeling under the false composed face.

"Yeah, that sounds like him."
Helena answered with a smile that held tenderness, that rose to her mind when she thought about Destra. He was an idiot sometimes, being so ridiculously loyal, but Helena wasn't one to talk because she had done some stupid things for friends as well. Not anything like he had done to Hella, naturally, and that was what made Helena feel even worse.

"Better than you? I have so much what you don't?"
Now Helena showed some of the anger inside her as she looked at Hella, and her other hand closed into a fist as well. She didn't raise her voice, she wouldn't yell at Hella, but her tone was enough to be as bad as yelling.
"That's bullshit, excuse my language. If I can't apologize or thank you then you can't put yourself below or above me. Destra had feelings for you, you two have something I will probably never have with anyone, and that's driving me crazy. But it also means we're equal."

Helena stood up, feeling too jittery to sit, and still looked at Hella.
"You remember what I said about beauty once, and how it should be on the inside as well? Well, I'm feeling really ugly right now. I'm angry at you, I'm jealous and anxious and scared. I won't hit you, or yell at you, or call you names and tell you to stay away from Destra. Because you're his friend, and I'm not that kind of person. And I'm pretty sure you're not the kind of person to take him from me. But this doesn't mean I'm forgiving you, and if you do try to take Destra away, well...I'll do anything in my power to not let that happen."
In that last line Helena let some of that possessiveness show, and she looked at Hella with steely eyes.

Helena knew too little of Hella to ignore what the girl said and without hesitation say that she was beautiful from the inside as well. Because there were so few people that were nothing but beautiful. At least Helena had never met a person like that. But...
"You're not hideous."
That along Helena could say with certainty.

"If you really were hideous you'd just steal Destra away from me without hesitation, you wouldn't have told me about kissing him, you wouldn't appreciate and care for him as much as you do. You're scarred, you're broken, you're ugly. Nearly everyone is to some extent, me as well. But you're beautiful, and that leaks too. I can't change what you think about yourself, that's the result of all the bad things that happened to you and won't change from just my words. But I can at least say what I see, even if you can't believe me."

Helena wasn't here to act as Hella's therapist, but she couldn't just leave the girl be and just be angry at her when Hella was so clearly not okay. That went against everything Helena believed. So she sighed a bit, her anger subsiding a bit.
"If Destra truly wanted you he wouldn't care what you could give him. And neither does anyone else who truly cares about you. Only ugly people approach others thinking what they could gain from them."
Helena walked away from the table and closer to Hella, holding a pack of napkins in case the girl needed them.
"You know, I don't hate you, Hella. I've been in this position, and your position, and Destra's position before. I just...wish you happiness. Because you deserve it."