In High Spirits

EmiRose

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Shul loved kids. He really did. But sometimes they really could get on his nerves.
Kids were sneaky. Shul had a soft outlook and seemed gullible and kids tried to use that immediately against him. Shul realized he was the new teacher and had to go through the breaking in period. But it was ridiculous how much the kids had grated on him today.
Shul sighed as he walked along the road in Oceania park. The last kid had been picked up by their parent and Shul was finally free. Though his head was still killing him.
Shul rubbed his face and temples and slowly wandered deeper into the less crowded area of the park. And as he looked up to the sky and saw a flock of birds making shapes against the blue a smile returned to his face. Right where it belonged. Shul took a deep breath and put hid hands in his pockets, starting to look around him. The world was still beautiful, even if kids could be infuriating. Because children were beautiful as well. Soppy, yes, but it was Shul's style. Shul chuckled when he suddenly remembered his "outing" with Sark. Maybe Shul should ask Sark somewhere next time.
Shul took another deep breath but choked and started coughing when he inhaled a nasty smell. Weed. Shul sighed and blocked his nose. He had tried weed in his wild(not really) youth and deemed it not worth his time. And if someone close to him did it Shul did everything in his power to make them stop. Legal or not.
But one person in a public park was not of Shul's concern right now. And Shul knew he'd only annoy them and not do any good. So he kept walking towards the smell, intending to just pass the smoker by. But when Shul turned around a corner and saw the one smoking the weed he frowned.
"Tiny?"

@Cypress
 

Kyp

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Tiny didn't usually smoke in public places. She would get nasty looks and angry moms would yell and the weed wouldn't help with her problems if she was already stressed out. Today she risked it because the park wasn't as filled with people as it usually was. Unfortunately for her, it had just enough people for her to still get yelled at.

Tiny squeaked and dropped the joint when someone said her name, but they sounded really disappointed. Cringing, Sinaloa prepared to be lectured, yelled at, and a variety of other things, but when she looked up she only saw a frowning Shul. He was a kindergarden teacher. Maybe he wouldn't yell.

"H-hi. It's uh. Been a while?"

Sinaloa stepped on the still smoking weed to make sure it wouldn't light anything else on fire.

"Please don't yell at me. Or anything else. It keeps me calmer. Less... Fritzy."
 

EmiRose

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Shul was really surprised, and indeed disappointed when he saw Tiny was the one smoking weed. He had met her before, and quite liked the girl. She had seemed below her years, and a sweet person. So Shul was a bit disillusioned when he saw her smoking. He didn't know if she was old enough to smoke it but that wasn't the point now.
"Yeah, I guess it had been a while. What on earth are you doing? Why are you smoking weed?"
Without even noticing Shul started using the lecturing tone. It was by instinct and he stopped it immediately. It was not his place to lecture Tiny. Especially since she second later asked him not to yell, and answered Shul's question. Shul had noticed when they had met earlier that Tiny was indeed a little, well, jumpy, or nervous. So her reason did make sense. But it didn't make Shul's disappointment disappear. There were other ways to feel "less fritzy".
But, for now, Shul just sighed. His headache pumped in his temple and the smell of weed didn't help.
"I am not going to yell at you Tiny."
Shul smiled a little, it wasn't a forced smile. But it didn't last long either.
"If you need to feel calmer you could meditate, or take medication. Not...this."
Shul gestured at Tiny's leg that she had crushed the joint with.
 

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"I don't wanna go on pills. Those have really nasty sideeffects, that I probably can't heal from. I don't wanna be more broken. I wanna be less broken. That's why I have a doctor."

Tiny shrunk into herself, tucking her hands into her pockets and almost losing three inches of height by ducking her head and cowering. He was right, though, she knew that. It would be easier to use the pills than the marijuana. Pills would be more discrete. It would be easier to hide that she was ever not okay.

"I promised Matthew I would stay away from that stuff. I can't break that promise. A-and I do meditate, kinda. N-not really, but it's close enough! I-it gets me through the rough spots. I-I don't smoke all the time. It just...helps."

How did she explain to him how it felt? The fears and doubts? The dread that the big fish would suddenly decide she had grown big enough for eating?
 

EmiRose

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Shul understood what Tiny meant, and immediately felt bad for lecturing her when she basically shrunk in size. Shul smiled a little, gently, and went to Tiny. He didn't touch her immediately but he wanted her to know he was close if she wanted some contact.
Shul listened to Tiny talk, tell about her promise with this Matthew person, and Shul could tell he was really important to Tiny. Shul gently touched Tiny's arm, and if she didn't flinch away he'd stroke it a bit, shushing a little to soothe Tiny.
"I get it Tiny. I get it. I'm not angry and I won't shout at you. Because you are right, medicines can have nasty side effects."
Shul was still smiling a little, it was a gentle, understanding smile.
"You don't need to break your promise with Matthew. I was just worried about you, that's all. I'm a busybody to I'll try to take care of you in the future too."
Shul petted Tiny's head if she didn't flinch away.
"I want to help you be less broken too, if you'll let me. I can promise you I will never ever shout at you."
 

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Tiny leaned into Shul's shoulder as he inched closer, barely touching him with her forehead at first, but gradually leaning more heavily against her friend.

Friend.

He was a friend, wasn't he? She trusted him. He said he wanted to help her. Shul wouldn't lie about that. Tiny nestled her head between Shul's chest and his arm, blocking all the light from her vision.

"You sound like Matthew. He was really nice, just like you. We were a little family, me and him and his girlfriend. But we livef in a really shitty place full of bad people. We took some jobs we shouldn't have cause we were young and cocky and now Matthew's dead. Because I did a bad thing. It's my fault he died."
 

EmiRose

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Shul was glad Tiny did not push him away. He had gotten more careful with physical contact after getting to know Sark, since he sometimes flinched whenever Shul touched him. So when Tiny leaned against him, leaned on him, Shul smiled gently and stroked Tiny's hair. She was fragile, in both body and mind. Or at least Shul thought so. But anyone could have hidden power and strength in them. Sometimes they just needed help getting it to show.

Shul quietly listened as Tiny talked to him, told him about Matthew. Shul's heart went to the girl, since Shul had lost people in his life too. Friends and acquaintances. But he bet he had never lost anyone as important as Matthew had been to Tiny.
Shul stroked Tiny soothingly, smiling gently.
"I won't be able to replace Matthew, I bet no one will. But let me tell you Tiny, that if I am even a little like Matthew I can say that he wouldn't want you to blame yourself. Because I don't want that, and I care for you."
Shul looked at Tiny, he was still smiling a bit but his eyes were serious.
"I'm not going to tell you what is true or not. I am merely telling you what I think. And I think you were a child, innocent child that shouldn't be blamed. Because you are a good person Tiny. At least I think so, and I am good at reading people."
Shul smiled a little wider and stroked Tiny's hair.
 

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"Doctor says that too. And I know she's right. Matthew wouldn't want me to be sad. But I'm not just sad I'm scared. Of everything. Before I came to Manta Carlos I always had one of them nearby if I needed them and we took care of eachother. We kept eachother safe."

Tiny lifted one hand, gripping the fabric of Shul's sleeve. She just wanted her hands to stop shaking. She wanted her emotions back under control. That's what the weed was for. It was supposed to help. Tiny whimpered and started sinking, no longer supporting her own weight.

"I wasn't good. I did bad things.
 

EmiRose

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Shul felt actual physical pain for Tiny when she squeezed his sleeve and started sinking. Shul sank too and sat on the grass, holding Tiny gently. Shul had no idea what Tiny was going through, how she felt so bad she needed the weed to take the edge off. Shul had tried weed and deemed it useless, something that dulls and distorts. But some people actually needed it. Like Tiny.
Shul had been afraid many times in his life. He wanted to be the one to easy Tiny's fear.
Shul stroked Tiny's hair and hummed lowly to soothe her.
"I know you're scared Tiny. But you're not alone. I'm here, your friends are here. We are all here to keep you safe, and you can help us keep ourselves safe. I know these words might be hard to believe but I never ever lie. Especially not to you."

"Good people can do bad things, and bad people can do good things. I consider myself a good person, and I've done some bad things in my life. So don't blame yourself."
Shul stroked Tiny's hair and back steadily and in a clear rhytm. His headache was now gone since Shul was in his element. Making other people feel better was what Shul was good at, after all. And he cared for Tiny, and wanted her to feel at least a bit better.
 
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