If You Weren't Real, I'd Make You Up

Starlight Academy… Atalia breathed a light laugh. It had been so long since she’d been at the school… and to be honest? She was glad to be back. She’d missed it. The forest, the lake, the lawn, but… Most of all Marco. She had missed his goofy grin, his optimistic personality, his touch, his kisses… But most of all, she missed being held by him, and hearing his heartbeat.

Atalia walked into the ballroom, the place where she and Marco had first met… Perhaps he’d be here? She didn’t know, but felt like revisiting some old memories. They’d gone so fast, it was the day she’d experienced her first kiss, all in the first day of meeting him. It was really true love at first sight. Though, Marco was so strange about not really having much of a history… Though she didn’t mind that too much… Her let her mind wander for a moment as she recollected her first kiss. It was funny, for a moment, she couldn’t even really comprehend it.

She felt so bad about leaving the school so suddenly. Elatrion had gotten herself in trouble, and they had to go back home to their parents for counseling for whatever reason. Atalia insisted to her parents that she could take care of Elatrion, that she always had, and that it was stupid that they were actually pretending to care about them now! They were seventeen for goodness sake! The two had practically raised themselves, and at their age, they were practically adults. Who the hell were they to actually call themselves their parents! Oh, it made Atalia so angry, especially now.

Atalia walked out to the center of the ballroom, wearing jeans, a white tank top, and a zip up blue sweater to match her crystal blue eyes. Her long back hair was tied up in a bun, because she hadn’t felt like brushing it, or anything, so it was a little messy. She had a tired look to her eyes, from dealing with her parents, and all she wanted to do was see Marco again. He was all she could really think about…

“Atalia?”

That voice… Could it be? The most prominent voice that had stayed with her ever since she’d left. She turned around, wide-eyed, and saw her beloved friend, and boyfriend Marco Mallet. A huge smile creased her face and she opened her arms out wide to him as their bodies collided, him smothering her in kisses. She laughed, and kissed him back, not really catching his lips but just random flashes of skin. She had missed him so much, and it wasn’t until this instant as he showered her with kisses that she really grasped how much she missed him. And he’d obviously missed her too!

She laughed even more and squeezed Marco lightly, displaying leaps and bounds of affection and held his face in her hands for a moment, getting a good look at him. She hadn’t looked into those beautiful eyes, or gazed at that goofy grin in far too long. “I missed you.” She said softly. She leaned her face into his to kiss him on the lips with a smile. She’d missed his touch, his smile, his laugh, and his personality… Just the fire he brought to the room.

Atalia sighed, so happy that she was finally in his arms again. She felt so safe, so complete… So loved. She just hoped that her sister Elatrion would soon find this ecstatic joy that only love could bring. It seemed like a dream, what Marco and Atalia seemed to share. It had happened so fast, so suddenly in this very ballroom… And here they were again, embraced, kissing, and together again.

She broke away from Marco slightly, with a small regret, and her eyes held an apology. “Elatrion… My parents… I…” She bit her lip, obviously feeling guilty about disappearing like that on him. “I’m sorry, I was having some family issues…” her voice trailed off, and she sighed. “My parents wanted counseling for Elatrion. Why now, I don’t know she’s needed counseling ever seen she was a kid…” She looked down at her feet, catching herself, and tried a smile. “I’m sorry I left without warning.” She wrapped her arms around him again and sighed. “Marco, I missed you so much…”

“Sorry! Did my breath stink?”

Atalia let out an airy laugh as she looked down at their feet and shook her head, “no, your breath is fine.” Atalia reached up, and pulled his hand away from his mouth, and held it within her own hands for a long time, simply looking at it. There was something she needed to tell him… But she couldn’t’ find the words. There was a reason she was back at the academy, not because she had powers and had parents that didn’t give a rat’s rump about her… But… She simply bit her lip, trying to smile at his antics that had always been able to make her laugh before.

He kissed her deeply, and for a moment, the need to tell him something withered away and she was lost within him. His smell, his taste, his touch… It made it seem like the news wasn’t that important anymore. Though, it was, and it would impact the rest of her life. Her life… So meaningless. She wrapped her arms tightly around his neck, kissing him deeply, almost violently. Her hands snaked up into his hair, entwining her fingers within it, bringing him closer to her. “Oh Marco…”

His touching her face made what she told him easier to bear… But it was still hard. She had lost so much in such a short time… She reached up and grabbed the hand that stroked her cheek and she held it there for a long time, with her eyes closed, just simply holding his hand there and feeling his presence in front of her. She embraced him, and felt the beating of his heart within his chest, and that brought comfort to her as well. She knew that if anyone could help her with this whole predicament… It was Marco. She ran her hands through her long black hair, stroking it, trying to avoid his eyes as he told her how much he missed her. She had missed him too… But now the inevitable was happening… She was going to have to explain about Elatrion…

“I…I really, really missed you. I couldn’t stop eating. Don’t worry about your sister, alright? It’ll turn out okay.”

Tears started to form on the brim of her eyes, and she bit her lip as he mentioned her sister… Her twin sister, her lovely Elatrion… She swallowed, looking down at her shoes, a tear falling to the ground, splattering upon her shoe. “Elatrion…” She said, her voice cracking. “Ela… is…” Her voice broke and she bursted into tears, collapsing against Marco, “she’s dead Marco! She killed herself! She killed herself in our closet! The closet we used to hide from our parents in! Marco…” She couldn’t stop herself, the words kept falling out of her mouth and her face became red and wet with her tears and mascara ran down her face… She was really quite a mess.

“I really, really am infatuated with you.”

Atalia stopped, looking at Marco for a long time, before she finally spoke. She didn’t return his swift kiss, but was completely distant from it. “You…” She looked down at her shoes until back at her hands that shook slightly from her outburst, tears still falling down her cheeks. She tugged on her hair… Hair that she soon realized was stupid, worthless. “Why?” Her self-esteem plummeted, Elatrion was dead… She couldn’t save her… She couldn’t talk her out of suicide… Her powers had gotten so out of control and her depression so intense that not even her own sister could talk her out of it. Atalia was a failure.

She could tell that Marco was suspecting something… and when she finally broke, his lovely smile and lovely voice soothed her like she knew he could. But… it wasn’t enough. It wasn’t Elatrion, and his voice couldn’t bring her back. Would his love be enough? He pressed his lips against her forehead as she screamed hysterically. She stopped screaming and crying, but tears still poured from her eyes and she shook gently in his arms. There was nothing more devastating than losing a sister… losing a twin sister… She felt like her better half was gone, ripped from her. She saw herself, her second identity hanging from that horrible rack that held all of her clothes… Clothes she would never be able to wear again as Elatrion’s dead skin brushed against the fabrics.

“Because I love you…”

Atalia broke from Marco’s embrace and stared at his face for a long time. He loved her? She bit her lip, her face looking around, unable to accept that. Why? What did that even mean, that he loved her? He didn’t even know her and for all she knew he just wanted what was in-between her legs. She remained silent, and silent tears kept falling, as she could occasionally suck up the snot that wanted so badly to escape her nostrils. She wiped her nose on her sleeve, backing away from Marco even more, to where there were a good few feet between them. She looked at him and muttered an almost inaudible, “I’m sorry…”

And with that, she turned and ran out of the ballroom. She ran, mascara dripping from her cheeks as she ran into the school’s union, and grabbed a pair of $1.59 scissors, ran into the girl’s bathroom, as the alarms for stealing started ringing very loudly. She stared at herself in the mirror, simply looking at the long black locks that hung from her shoulders. Atalia grabbed a big hunk, and with her newly snatched $1.59 scissors, she started to cut, and she cut and cut and cut, watching her old life fall away from her head like life had for Elatrion. If Elatrion couldn’t be happy, why did Atalia deserve to be? Her hair was stupid and useless, and dead! When she was finished, walked to the bathroom wall, scooted the scissors out of the door, as she heard the store manager calling after her. She sat against the wall, crying even more, burying her face into her hands.

“Atalia, I love you,”

Atalia’s lips trembled. She didn’t know what she loved anymore. Now that Elatrion was gone… She didn’t know if she could love anything, or be good to anyone… She couldn’t keep Elatrion from killing herself, so what good was she? What if Marco decided that handling fire was too much and she wouldn’t be able to do anything about it because she couldn’t save Elatrion… she couldn’t save anyone. Who was she kidding, anyways?

“Are you okay?”

Marco peeled her hands away from her face, and Atalia looked up at him with darkened, blood-shot eyes. “Am I okay?” She said flatly. No tone in her voice. “My sister is dead…” she furrowed her brows and started to scream, “AND ALL THAT WENCH IS CONCERNED ABOUT ARE HER STUPID $1.59 CLEARENCE SCISSORS!” Atalia pulled away from Marco touching her hand, and ran them through her newly cut hair, and stood up, and looked at herself in the mirror. Her face was dark, blotched with red spots from crying, streaked with black from her mascara and her hair looked like a bunch of cats had a fight on top of her head; it stood out in all directions and was nearly shorter than Marco’s.

She leaned in, placing her hands on the sink, taking a good look at the new her. The old Atalia was gone, incinerated with her sister’s ashes… Yeah, her parents had her cremate Elatrion because of some stupid idea that her ghost would come and haunt them. For what? Not being there? Being stupid dumb old parents that didn’t know anything? Being cremated wouldn’t stop Atalia from haunting them that was for sure. She took a chunk of her hair in her hands, trying to get used to what she’d just done to herself.

Marco stood next to her, not trying to say he loved her, or anything, but simply pulling little hairs off of her shoulders, and she let him. She almost didn’t even notice he was there. She was being drowned by the water of her eyes and lost within the mirror. Marco’s words became submerged in her own sorrows and she did not hear them. The manager stormed into the bathroom and started yelling at her about the $1.59 scissors and as Atalia turned around, she absorbed the sound of the manager; she absorbed her words and was completely unaffected. “Your stupid scissors are on the ground, right there.” She said, pointing. Atalia stepped out of the bathroom, and ventured towards the Girl’s Dormitory. To the Donatrices’ old room…