I Should Tell You

Kathinja · Dec 30, 2017

Fatima and Gareth were actually dating. Things didn’t totally fall apart after the masquerade. In fact, it was fun. They both had fun, and he was proud of himself for getting up on his feet long enough to dance with her.

He was still kind of amazed he was even dating her at all. But at the same time, he felt a little more…relaxed? At least after the masquerade was a successful date. He felt like he had a more concrete idea of how to give Fatima a good time. And he was really starting to accept the fact that she really, genuinely liked him. Holy crap.

But if they were going to be more serious, that meant there were certain things he felt he needed to tell Fatima about. He may have been awkwardly fumbling his way through the relationship, but one thing he knew about relationships for sure was that honesty was a big deal. And he wanted to be honest with her. She deserved to be treated right.

Since Gareth was currently roommate-less in his handicap-friendly room, Fatima usually came over to his room when they wanted to hang out and spend time together. So he asked her to come by after classes that day so they could sit and talk for a bit. Maybe they could chill and watch a movie after if things went…okay?

God, did he hope things would go okay. Finishing up some homework, in an attempt to actually be an okay-ish student at least, he slid from his desk chair to his wheelchair. Fatima should be around soon, and he always left the door unlocked for her so she could come right in.

He took a breath and stared up at the ceiling for a long moment, rolling the words he wanted to say to her around in his head.

@Boop

Boop · Dec 31, 2017

Fatima had never dated. She'd never thought of dating. Before coming to the island she'd been a weapon or a toy or both - basically her family's property whatever her therapist said about her parents having no right to her. And afterward - to say that things had become complicated would be an understatement. And part of her wondered how much of her new freedom was from just being away from the cult and how much of it was the fact they'd all been killed. She literally could not go back.

She'd been almost shy when she first arrived, not quite understanding that she had a choice. Hard to believe it was only a year ago. And then the New Year's panic had led her to give in to her urges. She was not human and she was starving and sex was just another food source. Except it involved people and it was complicated. She was 16, a teenager, a high school student. She knew people dismissed her as a slut. At least, she felt like one, and it did hurt. But what else was she good for?

She'd calmed down after a while though. She was still painfully hungry and still had no idea what to do with the more human emotions. But people moved on, and she'd never been a pursuer. And if nothing could satisfy her anyways, she might as well just eat food. And Gareth - Gareth was nice. He liked her for some reason. He gave her brownies and danced with her and - they were dating. And he wasn't using her. Even though she'd pretty much only slept with people she considered friends, she'd always felt a little used before. It just had seemed like something natural. But he seemed - happy with her?

So Fatima was a little nervous when he wanted to talk. So many thoughts running through her head. They already talked. Why was he setting aside a specific time? What did he have to talk about? What had she done? He didn't sound mad but... She was eating chocolates by the handful, but she stopped when she got to his room. Then wiping her face with her sleeve, she walked in.

Her smile was genuine, if somewhat terrified, as she handed him a carton of chocolate milk. The girl was momentarily speechless. Gods she didn't want to screw this up.

Kathinja · Jan 1, 2018

“’Ey there,” he said with a big grin. She was nervous, he could tell right away as she gave him the chocolates. He kept a smile on his face, in the hopes of easing her anxiety a bit.

Gareth was nervous too about what he had to tell her, but also…happy, in a way? He felt a certain amount of relief that he may actually be able to share this with someone who wouldn’t get weird about it. It wouldn’t get weird, right? He felt like Fatima was a pretty understanding person. But there was still that small bit of paranoia, that everyone would turn their back on him if they knew. He hated revealing it, hated talking about it.

“Right! So…I just wanted to tell you ‘bout some stuff ‘bout me,” he began, taking a deep breath. But he still kept the smile on his face, trying to tell her ‘hey it’s not that big a deal, don’t worry.’

“It’s the kind of thing, like, it’s probably better to tell you straight up, rather than have it revealed in some weird way. You know? ‘Cause I want to be honest and open, yeah?”

Yes, he wanted to be honest and open. It was difficult though. He felt his mouth going dry and his words were starting to get jumbled in his head. He just needed to say it.

“I wasn’t born a boy. I’m transgender, y’know? So I’ve actually got, y’know, a vag and boobs. And…yeah.”

Then he went quiet, letting Fatima process that. Waiting for her reaction. It…wouldn’t be a big deal, right?

@Boop

Boop · Jan 7, 2018

Fatima sat down with a nervous giggle. Mostly cause she felt like an overgrown carrot standing next to... most people to be honest. At least Gareth made it seem not so bad - he was in a wheelchair; of course he was short. And he kinda put her at ease anyway most of the time. Not at the moment. Though she could tell he was trying, which gave her hope that he wasn't wanting to talk because he was mad at her for some reason.

The news that Gareth had female body parts, while it was certainly a surprise, didn't put Fatima off in the least. Mostly she was relieved that she hadn't done any thing wrong. She did feel like it was a big deal that he trusted her enough to tell her. Which was why she didn't say the first thing that came to her mind - something along the lines of - I have boobs too. She didn't want to trivialize anything. Actually, she had no idea what to say. Body parts really didn't matter to her. In part because she slept with everyone anyway regardless, and in part because he was her friend first. He was her boyfriend, yes, but she wasn't sleeping with him. Not that she didn't sorta want too, but it was nice not feeling pressured into it.

Fatima wasn't good with deep stuff, personal stuff. She cared but she still kinda wanted to shove emotions away because they were complicated and messy and life was hard enough. But it felt like this was a big deal to Gareth and she shouldn't brush it off. Except, he was being so laid back about it all. Calm and steady like he usually was. She liked that about him. The grin on her face was still nervous, but she obviously was not mad. Just - a little speechless.

"You know... I really don't care - I mean I care about you! But I mean... boobs are nice. I like b- I mean ah! I didn't say that ohmygod I'm horrible." She blushed red with embarassement, trying to get her tongue to say the right things. "I mean I guess you don't like those parts? But you're - you. You're Gareth whatever um... parts you have..."

Kathinja · Mar 5, 2018

Gareth let out a sigh of relief, and couldn’t help but laugh. He felt kind of silly, worrying about it now. Of course Fatima wasn’t going to be upset. She was better than that.

“I feel silly getting all nervous now…I know it isn’t as big a deal on the island as it is out there, but I’m so used to it being treated like this big deal all the time…”

He felt like he was rambling now, so he cleared his throat.

“But, yeah, I don’t exactly like those parts…”

Gareth pulled his shirt down to show Fatima the bandages wrapped around his chest.

“I wear these—well, I mean, I partially wear them because of the demon shit, but…I also wear them to forget I have tits for a while. And I shove balled up socks down my pants to feel like I have something there.”

He paused a moment, and then laughed.

“Oh my god, that sounds so stupid when I say it out loud. But it does help, in it’s own way.”

Gareth then reached out and took Fatima’s hand in his, becoming a bit more serious again.

“But also, I wanted you to know that because I also want you to know…well, you know I have this regenerative shit, right? It’s great for injuries and shit, but…when you want to intentionally remove a part of your body, it completely backfires. A normal human can get their breasts removed and have a flat chest heal. When I heal…well, they just grow back, right?”

He stared down at their hands for a moment, before looking back up to Fatima.

“So I’ve been seeing this doctor, and I’ve been letting her kinda…experiment on me, basically. If she can figure out how to bypass my regeneration shit, well…I just want you to be aware my body might change eventually. I’ll still be me! Just, you know, titless. And maybe even a real dick instead of socks.”

He flashed her a lopsided grin. This was serious stuff for him, but at the same time he kind of couldn’t help but laugh. Then again, that’s just how he was. He liked to poke fun at himself. He made heavy things light.

@Boop

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