I Couldn't Protect You

Sleep wasn't coming easily for Ariel. Even now as she lay in her bed, with her blankets pulled up to her chin, she remained awake. Millions of thoughts swept through her mind, buzzing about in such a way that she was certain that they could be heard by everyone. This had been a hectic month, one that she wanted to forget, but now, she would never be allowed to forget it. She had a permanent reminder of what she had gone through, one that was going to need her, and demand of her for the next 21 years of her life. She was going to be having a baby.

She sighed loudly as she shuffled about in her bed. Every movement hurt. The last beating she had received had been particularly vicious. Her face hurt the most though. It seemed like she had only just gotten the last black eye to fade and now she had another.

In the next room, she could hear her sister. Brigid had been trying to keep her voice down, but the walls in these dorms were paper thin, and despite her best attempts to keep quiet, Ariel had still managed to hear her. They had spoken with the officer at the hospital, he had come down and taken her statement. Jason was going to be picked up and help on assault at the very least. with her testimony, they were going to try to get him on more.

The problem was, he had gone into hiding. He could be anywhere now. That was not reassuring to her as she listened to her sister finish the call. A moment later and the door to the bedroom opened. The room itself was shared by the sisters. On one end was Brigid's bed, and her various things, on the other was Ariels. It was just like home. It was comforting.

As Brigid slipped into the room Ariel closed her eyes shut, pretending to be asleep, pretending to not have heard the call, and pretending not to be troubled by the aftermath of recent events.

She waited a few moments and stirred a bit, yawning lazily and stretching her arms as she looked over at her sister. "Oh? Hey. What time is it? Have you been here long?"

She knew the answers to these questions. She had checked her phone a million times so she knew what time it was, and naturally, Brigid had only just arrived. Still, she was to maintain the facade a little. Pretend like she had slept.

Ariel sat up in bed, wincing and grasping her ribs as she did. It was painful to move. She looked to her sister and offered a weak smile before patting the edge of her bed, inviting Brigid to sit. "You ok? You look like you aren't doing so well."

Ariel straightened herself a little more, wincing with a small groan as she crossed her legs and made room for Brigid to sit. These beds were so small as it was, she could only wonder how larger students managed a decent night sleep.

She was wearing a t-shirt and long flannel pajama bottoms. The shirt featured a band name and logo form a classic concert. A vintage reprint, but she had still explained how awesome it was to her sister a couple of months ago when they were shopping. It had become her favorite sleepy shirt.

"Don't worry. I'm fine. I think He's done worse...." She hesitated a moment, recalling past events that landed her in the hospital. Were they really worse? Would her sister see them as different? "I mean... at least he didn't hurt the baby...." She fell silent again, looking down to her stomach as tears started to flow rapidly.

"I'm sorry... I'm so sorry. I didn't... I shouldn't have.... I mean... I couldn't stop it... It got out of control so fast, and I thought he would get better.. and..." Her words quickly dissolved into gibberish and as she began to sob, throwing her arms around her sister. Every so often a bleat would sneak out between sobs.

Ariel blamed herself for this. Moreso than anyone else. It was her who let her guard down. It was her who tried to protect him. It was her who kept going back thinking it would be different. She had failed where her father had warned her. "Watch out for them boys. They have nothing good te offer ya." He had said. How many talks had he had with them about sex and the ways of men. And in a fleeting moment, all of it was out the window.

"You probably think I'm the biggest dummy ever" She finally managed to stammer.

Ariel winced only a little at the hug. It hurt, but not in a way that made her recoil. This was different. The pain from her wounds was there, but it was outdone by the comfort of her sister's love. It was funny how things like that worked. In her sister's arms she felt safe, the world seemed to melt away, and the things that scared her felt like they no longer had power. This was where she had always wanted to be.

As the conversation stuttered Ariel knew where Brigid was going to go with it. She knew what her sister was thinking. She had thought about it too. Abortion. It was a terrible thing, but certainly, if any situation justified it, then this would be it right? But still, something tugged at her heart. She couldn't bring herself to say the word out loud, nor could she bring herself to commit to finishing the thought of it. She knew how her dad felt about things. He hated it. He taught them that it was wrong. And she trusted him. If anything she needed to ask him about it first.

Rather than linger on this, however, Brigid seemed to move on to food. Ariel was struggling with her appetite. Sure it had been a day or so since she had eaten lat, but her nerves were shot. She needed to eat but feared she wouldn't be able to hold it down. Then again she wouldn't know till she tried.

"I guess I should try to eat something. Cucumber sandwich? Maybe with some vegetable juice? She said with a smile as she groaned and stood up rather slowly. "We can eat lunch together like we used to before this all happened."

Ariel watched as her sister busied herself with the sandwiches, and then with the task of joining their beds. It was a simple gesture, but infinitely sweet. A picnic in the comfort of their own home, and a chance to be closer to her sister. It was perfect. She wondered though how Brigid would act once she started to get bigger. Would she still be as accepting of her when it became noticeable?

This, of course, wasn't a thought for this very moment so Ariel pushed it from her mind as she climbed on the bed. It hurt to crawl and to move, but with a little effort, she quickly found a position that felt right.

"We haven't done anything like this in a long time. Not since we were kids." She giggled This was a nice distraction from the horrible rest of the world. Of course things still needed to be discussed and figured out. Now was a good time to talk in a casual way.

"So. The officer called back? What did he say?" She asked taking a bite of her sandwich.