"Shay... You've seen it yourself... All that makes me me... All that holds me together is some old seal... That already failed once... And... What happens when that breaks? I change and... Kenta is gone." He let out a defeated sigh. "So... you're right. I can't... I can't promise you anything."
"Just because you're not the same means you're gone, Kenta." Shay huffed and turned her back on him, crossing her arms. She shouldn't have been doing this. She shouldn't have been reassuring him.
"But I would be... Shay I'm not..." He looked at her. "Shay, if I lost to him, I'd stop being here. Theres nothing at the core of my being. It's Gin's body. Gin's mind... And Gin's soul... So Shay... What am I?"
"You're Gin," Shay said. "And Gin is you. Just because you started out as Gin doesn't make Kenta any less real. Whatever made you Kenta is always going to be there. Monsters don't care, Kenta. They don't worry about what will be lost or who they'll hurt. You and Gin are just different sides of the same coin."
He looked at her silently for a few moments, unsure if that made him feel better or worse. Soon he started laughing and sobbing, just as confused as this action was. "I'm Gin? I'm Gin... So I'm still there? Is that why he didn't hurt you? But why don't I... Remember when I turned into him? Why do I have so many nightmares? Where did I go when he was here? Was I there when he..." He clenched his chest and stopped laughing. "Shay..." he whimpered. "If I'm him... I killed all those people..."
"I can't help you Kenta!" Shay tried not to scream. She really did. It was selfish of her; his problems were so much greater than her own, but she was so angry (at him, at her, at everything). Too angry to give him answers, even ones she knew with all her heart.
He nodded and buried his face in his knees. "So you're right... I could stop being me... I can't promise anything when we get this far into it... So without that..." His voice was low, quiet.. He... sounded defeated. Dead... "I guess I really have no way to argue it. You would be better off without me..."
"That's not what I said," Shay snarled. "I said you'll always be you. There will always be a Kenta because that's what you became." Why was she so angry? Not even Shay fully knew. She gave him a critical once-over.
"You have to stop this, Kenta. Stop. Just stop. Stop being upset about the past and what you think happened. You can't change those things now. You're so caught up by the whole thing, but what the hell is the point? You can't change those things, so stop crying about them. If you want to atone, fine, but stop crying."
"This isn't about my history, Shay! This is about my mortality!" He was so confused, screaming into his legs as he hid his face. "I could die ANY TIME! I can't promise you I'll always be here! I can't say I'll always be me! If that means you can't be my friend then do what you have to, but..!" He stopped, inhaled sharply and clenched his teeth hard, trying to hold it all back. Everything hurt. His heart was killing him.
"You're just finding reasons to be upset! What I said still stands. You're just so intent on believing you'll be lost. Well, fine, then you'll be lost. If that's an inevitability, why waste all your time?" Shay groaned. "I wish I had never even helped you figure out about Gin."