Private Finished Hoping, Hopeful

Days seemed to blur together. Ever since he moved into the dorms, then with the closure of the ocean, Jae felt like he was spiraling out of control. His grades suffered, homework was either half finished or not turned in at all. Then, there in the deepest part of him, his magic whispered to him. It sweetly begged for death and destruction, to bring misery to the people surrounding him.

Then the ocean opened up, but Jae still struggled. Throughout it all, he had one bright memory to keep him going. He had kissed Eric. Spent the night with him. It hardly seemed real yet the proof was there. If Eric was constantly on Jae's mind before, then what would he call now? The teen had a few words in mind, but they all seemed wrong. Obsession was one, but that couldn't be it.

Jae drifted through the student lounge, his school bag on his back. The ocean was open again, but Jae felt as worn thin as ever. He searched the room for an open seat, and instead saw Eric. Before Jae could think about it, he had walked over to Eric and took a seat next to him. The sight of him was like a balm on Jae's mind. Jae needed something good in his life.

"Eric," He greeted with a smile. Then added, "We should go to the beach together. As, as a date." Jae waited, hopeful.

@Kait

Jae's smile faltered, caught off-guard by Eric's strange reaction. Though he outwardly seemed calm, there was something in his eyes that Jae couldn't translate. He tried to rationalize it, as Jae had after all suddenly disturbed Eric's study time.

"Else? Oh, um, sure. We can." He stood with Eric and followed the other outside. What did they need to talk about that had to be said outside? It was confusing and strange, and the two feelings melted into something that settled uncomfortably in the pit of Jae's stomach. "So, what did you want to talk about?" He asked when they were alone.

Jae listened. His face blank, devoid of emotion as his mind processed when Eric had said. For a brief moment he couldn't, the words almost incomprehensible. Only because Jae couldn't, wouldn't understand it. Until he did.

It was like a punch to the gut. Jae sucked in a quick, harsh breath as his magic suddenly, painfully flared. Jae's head swam, heady with the surge of power. "You," Jae began, the rest of his words tangled in his mouth. You used me. Months of flirting, yearning. When they kissed, then they. . . Jae felt wetness well in the corners of his eyes and quickly wiped it away.

"What the hell." Jae said, hurt shifting to anger. In the back of his mind his magic whispered to him. You've been rejected, it said, you've been abused, now return that misery.

Jae shook his head, almost unwilling to hear Eric out. What kind of excuse can one make after all that's happened, only to be hit with the 'but what will my friend's think?' speech. Maybe Jae couldn't understand where Eric came from, he didn't live in the era Eric did, where being gay was taboo. On the island no one cared, and many were so open and accepting. Jae only felt anger.

"I don't want to be a secret!" Jae snapped, his tone louder than intended as his ears filled with the buzz of his magic. "You just what, Eric? You just can't tell your friends you're gay? You want to have me only when no one else can know? I'm not-" Jae faltered, his expression pained for a moment, "I'm not a toy you can pick up and play with when you feel like it!"