Here and Gone

Vidi never imagined that he would ever see his dorm room bare anytime soon; not since he'd moved in. He saw this room gradually fill up with all the things he bought for himself, adding decorations to make it feel like it was his own. But now, gone were the dark curtains that kept any light from outside from passing through the windows; the altar he put together over the past two years at the corner of his room was now cleared out, leaving only the ashes left from incense that he'd have to clean up in the morning; his closet was emptied with nothing but the last set of clothes he would be using the next day sitting on it. His bed felt so bare without his personally owned covers and blanket sprawled over it, among many other things.

A few boxes sat at the side of his room, right next to the bed. By morning, people would be helping him move his things out from the dorm to the Rosales' manor. The young demon never imagined he'd be moving anywhere anytime soon nor to any place that would involve him living with a family he could call his own. He decided to move in, even though he could have stayed in the dorms if he chose to, but a small voice in his head told him that he should. Or perhaps that was Shay's voice in his memory; asking for him to consider. It was all strange. He didn't remember a time someone wanted him around; he didn't know how to respond.

The last time he ever saw his personal living space emptied this way was two years ago, back in London with his mother. Either way, there was only so little he could bring with him then. His mother avoided him the whole time after a scout that visited them found him, almost as if she was so guilty that he'd been kept away from the scout or whatever group they were from. Up until he was about to leave, his mother almost didn't want to spare him a goodbye. No... for once he could clearly remember his mother saying 'good riddance.' For all the years he lived with his mother, it took years of living far away from her for Vidi to realize how much he wasn't wanted there.

The Envy demon dropped his body on the bed, his mind far away, lost in a flood of anxiety. Would they actually like him? He remembered the false memories from the game last year: growing up part of a family, having two dads and loud siblings -- both things he never really had in real life. He remembered having joined them when they escaped the quarantine only a few weeks back but he avoided any conversations then and pretended to be asleep the whole bus ride before disappearing from their sights the next opportunity he got.

Shay told him Klaus spoke of him when he visited, he recalled, and Vito said so as well when he approached him a couple of days earlier. He wondered what were they about? What were the things they would talk about him. They could probably be good, if they seemed to like him enough.

A sigh passed his lips. Maybe he should quiet his thoughts for the night, he thought to herself. If only he could; every time he thought about waking up in the morning, the anxieties came back to him like a shower of bullets, coming after one after the other. He looked at the small kitten plush toy that he left sitting on the window sill, illuminated by the moonlight. A little token from Sid. If someone liked him enough to stay with him for so long, maybe they would too. It was a little thought he liked to acknowledge every so often when he felt unsure.

Vidi closed his eyes, reminding himself of a few good things he still had. He slept dreamlessly that night.

The stray hellion was up before the sun rose past the horizon. He couldn't tell if it was because he couldn't sleep or his own anxiety woke him up earlier than the usual. He sure didn't feel like he slept either way. Vidi decided he wasn't going to lie around doing nothing, so instead of waiting any further, he pushed herself out of his bed and cleaned up. He finished with his final goodbyes to his room, clearing out the ashes and candle residue along with the dust that gathered in dark crawlspaces. It felt almost sad to be leaving the room after he'd finally gotten very comfortable, but he figured living with the rest of the family would do his thoughts better.

If only that were the case. He moved to the Rosales manor that day; he already knew how big the family was, not to mention the members of the gang that came and went from the manor. He was briefly introduced to most of the Rosales children, doing his best to pull a smile as he greeted each of them. He was thankful that the planets aligned or something and he woke up that day in his female form -- which was much easier to remember for everyone who he already met previously. Addy and Sherry seemed happy to see him, having already met them before from the VR and a few times when he went to see Shay. On the same day, he told them about his shapeshifting to clear up any confusion in the future. No one seemed surprised and that was fine with him; it was one thing less to worry about. Even so, he felt dizzy from the amount of people and kept to himself for most of the day.

On the first week, Vidi went outside every evening, explaining to anyone who asked that he liked the night air. He did; but he also wanted space. Staying in the same manor as everyone felt like a drastic jump from having lived for the last two years of his life with an entire dorm unit all to his lonesome self. He wondered if it had anything to do with the fact that they were now essentially family and that he just wasn't used to it. He kept his thoughts to himself, but answered as bluntly when insistently asked why.

Klaus and Vito seemed patient with him, but he couldn't be sure with the others. He wasn't ever sure anyway. He told them he only needed time.

Time wasn't anything Vidi would have been blessed with though.

It took a week but it felt shorter than it should have. Vidi noticed how Klaus started acting differently the moment they ran into each other in the hallway one day; he couldn't tell why but he only dismissed it as his own paranoia making him hyper-attentive to every little thing that happened in the house. Vito seemed to be more quiet but again, Vidi brushed it off.

But who could brush something off when one day he would wake up and Klaus and Vito weren't there anymore. He woke up that day feeling the house seemed off; as if something important went missing. There was a huge void in the house and he didn't know what it was. Later on they would all find out both their fathers would be gone.

It was such a small amount of time from when he realized something was wrong to that moment the rug was pulled out under them that he didn't have time to process what was going on. Klaus and Vito had left, without so much as a proper explanation to why they were leaving. Summoned back to hell, his ass. How could neither of them had a choice? How could they just... vanish without properly giving them something to hold on to. He didn't show much of a reaction when the news was broken to them. Vidi only responded plainly, waving his hand as if it never bothered him in the slightest.

He cried that night though. He wept soundless tears but his frustration found a way to show itself. He threw stuff around his room filled with spite, and every other thing that brushed his hand seemed to crumble. His powers let itself loose, probably for the first time in a while as he vented out all his pent up rage. He was angry, but more than that he was miserable. Abandoned again, perhaps for the fourth time in his life.

His room would have been a mess the morning after, with the halfling just curled up at the foot of his bed. God knows if he had any sleep at all. He went through the next few days just dead in the eyes, forcing up a smile when he ran into familiar faces, faking how he wasn't broken up about Vito and Klaus leaving so soon just before he could call himself part of the family. Despite the fact he was the most recent addition, he was one of the older ones and he had to have some semblance of stability. The most he could do was a show of face.

It had been a week after that when Shay called all of them to the dining room. Vidi would blame his hyper-attentiveness again but he saw her shuffle, as if finding it difficult to find the words to what she needed to say. Vidi wished she didn't.

He didn't seem to show much of a reaction, if anything, he seemed to be more lost in his own musings. He was in fact listening though, his mind completely dedicated to every word that fell out of Shay's mouth. He found she wasn't quite speaking to him, but most of the others. Understandable, he could say. From the start of it all, he was an outsider.

That was the basis of his decision he made then and there. Vidi was decidedly sure, he didn't become a Rosales for the gang. All he really wanted was a chance: he could care less about gang activities but he wanted how Klaus greeted him so warmly when they ran into each other, how Vito was exactly how he pictured his father he could never have. Having had siblings would have just been a bonus for him. Now that was all gone. It was a selfish wish of his; nothing more. He didn't need the chance Angelo was offering anymore: gang life wouldn't have made much of a difference.

Vidi wouldn't be coming along; he was staying with what would be left of the Rosales, be it the family or the gang. How funny was it, that a few days after he'd finally decided to join the family, Vito and Klaus would disappear? How funny was it that it seemed like he was just fated to lose people in his life so damn easy? If it had been his damned luck at play then he wouldn't want to bring that to this brand new opportunity being given to them. The Rosales kids didn't need that kind of curse on them. It was better that he kept his distance.

He was already dead set on his decision but seeing the look in Shay's eyes told him to give her time. She probably didn't need to hear he was staying behind after all this. He himself probably needed time to think of how to explain all this to her.

Vidi was first to leave the table that day, ignoring all the looks he got when he headed straight for his room.