"I would still appreciate the advice," he replied. "Feeling fake might just be something I need to get over. Empathy is pretty necessary for genuine bonds..." He let out a light laugh, failing to hide his distaste for his situation.
Good Grief
- Thread starter Keen
- Start date
- helena (emirose) konpeitō hatsu nek0
"I would still appreciate the advice," he replied. "Feeling fake might just be something I need to get over. Empathy is pretty necessary for genuine bonds..." He let out a light laugh, failing to hide his distaste for his situation.
Helena could guess she had disappointed Kon. It wasn't like she was actually a bad person, but the politeness she showed in most situations was learned, and if Kon thought that was genuine kindness then Helena felt like she had to correct him."Genuine kindness isn't really about just treating others nicely. Anyone can do that."
Helena explained, knowing Kon probably already knew this but he had asked for Helena's opinion and advice and she was going to share them.
"Since everyone has their own way of showing kindness. I act polite because I was taught to and offer help out of sense of duty, but I won't truly invest time on someone or become friends with them unless I genuinely want to. That is my kindness. Like offering advice for my friend when they are in need."
Helena smiled, and sipped her tea. It was good, as expected of Kon.
"Do you think our bond isn't genuine?"
Helena asked, looking at Kon with curiosity, yes, but she also kept her tone neutral, since she wasn't here to blame Kon for losing his empathy or anything he was going through. Since he was genuinely worrying about it.
"What? No. I think it's genuine, but I've also known you for a while. Before my empathy degraded so much. I have... It's uh..." How to word this? "To put it bluntly, I put too much stock into you. Into a lot of people. I think if I stopped viewing everyone as people, you and some others I would still keep around because you've been with me for so long."
Okay, maybe too blunt. He began laughing, the nervousness getting to him. "Thinking about it, that's a way meaner way of saying that I like you guys enough that my empathy wouldn't get in the way of that bond."
Helena could understand where Kon was coming from and what he meant, and she didn't take it personally when his words were a bit mean and rude. So when he corrected himself Helena smiled and nodded."And the people that you care about care about you, so even if your empathy is decreasing they will stay by you. At least I will, if you want me to."
Helena wanted to also offer reassurance, in case Kon was feeling that he would be left all alone if he lost the ability to empathize with people.
"But in the end even if your empathy is decreasing that doesn't mean you are losing your feelings, right? I think the best way to deal would be to just treat people like you would like to be treated, and show sympathy. You wouldn't like people to treat you like you're not a person, right?"
Helena took a snack from the bowl on the table, but didn't eat it yet and fidgeted with it in her hand while she considered what to say next.
"Personally I don't think it's all that bad to feel like you're fake, or pretending. Because you do it out of your own will, you know? You decide your own actions, and in the end it's you who decides to act nice and do good. As long as you have a way and a place to be yourself then it's okay to have two faces. Rather, all people have multiple faces, it's just humane and normal. So perhaps you don't need to feel so bad about it."
"I'm not losing my feelings... just my capability to feel them correctly. Or I'm feeling the wrong ones at the wrong times. But, yes, I do try to treat people how I'd like to be treated. I don't want to give up my manic pixie genki girl persona just yet." The last part was said in a semi-joking tone, but he genuinely didn't want to get rid of it. One of the things he was proud of was that he was made to be as energetic and optimistic as possible. They were good traits when handled well. Not ones he would want to give up.
"But... that's good advice. I never really thought of it that way. Or I did, then disregarded it because I felt like I was making up poor excuses. And in my case, I literally have multiple faces, and my personality seems to shift slightly with them. I try to at least have my main faces be friendly, nice, and understanding. So... maybe if I associate those features enough with those faces, I'll naturally be that way when I'm wearing them..." As Kon talked, he became more introspective. His voice quieting down as he began to talk less to Helena and more to himself.
Kon still had enough cheer and energy to joke at least a little, and Helena smiled a bit when he did. Although there was a serious note hidden in his tone Helena was relieved to see Kon do that. Helena had known Kon before he had developed the persona he was talking about, and in that persona he seemed to feel most comfortable. Or at least that was what Helena had observed."Then you're on the right track. And I do think many people would be left missing the manic pixie genki girl."
Helena said with a small grin, also with a joking tone. After all, Kon could choose to be whoever he wanted to be, Helena didn't want to pressure him to hold onto any persona that he didn't want to maintain.
Kon seemed to be satisfied with Helena's advice and that was all she could ask for. As he began wondering things to himself Helena took a sip of her tea and listened in.
"I think all you need to do to find out if that is the right way for you is to try it. Whatever the conclusion you might arrive at is I'll still be here, ready to listen and support you."
Helena said when she saw a gap in Kon's self-reflection. Although she did say that deep down Helena was worried. What if Kon strayed to a wrong path? One where it would be dangerous for Helena to be there for him? Because even though Helena was very tolerant she wouldn't associate with people that endangered her own safety or those she loved.