First Session: Thabisa

Of course it was gonna be therapy, that was what Thabisa had expected. And still she could already feel her hope pretty much draining away as she walked towards the office of this guy that was supposed to pick her brain. Well, many people had done it before, and it hadn't helped. No one had been able to explain why Thabisa was messed up, and their "methods" had never done anything. And now Thabisa was even more broken, she knew that, and honestly didn't think it was possible to do anything. Thabisa was done, messed up for life, crazy with no hope of recovery.
But...
This was a magic island, maybe they had some magic metho-
Fuck, magic didn't work on Thabisa. Yup, her hopes were pretty much dead. But still Thabisa had to go. She had to sort out her options. She was so fucking sick and tired, Thabisa just wanted to try and do something, anything. Even if it was in vain.

Thabisa was sketching the monsters from last night on her sketchbook, as she stalled outside this guy's office, waiting until the clock was exactly the time this thing was supposed to happen.There hadn't been a panic attack tonight, but Thabisa had seen Risky torn in half by a monster with way too many teeth to be anything but inconvenient. Well, that thought had only come to Thabisa's head after she woke up in cold sweat, during the nightmare she had just screamed at the top of her lungs. From both anger and horror.
Thabisa squeezed the pen a bit harder, as she finished sketching said teeth monster, and just in time too. It was time. Thabisa huffed, and put her sketchbook in her pocket dimension. And she opened the door to this guy's office, on her face her usual small cocky smile.

"That's me. I'm Thabisa, though you probably know that already."
Thabisa answered to this guy, who had apparently gotten impatient since he had stood up from his chair, probably to check if his next patient had come.
"Don't mind if I do."
Thabisa said, trying to act all nonchalant and casual as she headed over to the couch and plopped down on it, lounging all relaxed. She was trying to seem like this now that she still could, since Thabisa was pretty sure she was going to get pretty serious pretty soon. That was what this place was for, right?

"Extra credit? Please, I'm so dumb that's not going to save me."
Thabisa joked right back with a small snicker, and after that waited for Valli to finish with those disclosures of his, it sounded all so professional and stiff. Different from all the therapists Thabisa had been to before. Those had mostly talked down to her, called her "sweetie" and then when Thabisa had described her nightmares to them their nice guy masks had fallen off and they had looked horrified, disgusted even. Thabisa wondered if that was going to happen now too.

"Oh yeah, auras or any kind of magic and whatnot doesn't work on me, so I'm just seeing you all unfiltered. Warts and all."
Thabisa smirked a bit at Valli, joking again, and now that he was done...was she just supposed to jump right into it? Well, guess so. This part was pretty familiar to Thabisa, though the last time she had been in this position was...Jesus Christ, almost 10 years ago.
"Well, you said that I should just pick up from somewhere. The reason I'm here is because I'm pretty much crazy, and need help. Like, serious help. If I don't get it I'm pretty sure that I'm...I'm gonna break in a way that can't be fixed."
That was a good place to start, plain and simple. And Thabisa looked at Valli, now with a more serious expression. Thabisa was much more self-aware than anyone who knew her would think.

Thabisa hadn't explained why she was crazy for a reason, maybe because she just wanted to stall this, wanted to avoid the result she thought to be inevitable. Valli was going to be another one to say he couldn't help. But of course he asked, and Thabisa sighed a bit, and though she was still in a lounging position she was tense.

"This isn't my first time on therapist's couch, you know."
Thabisa began, starting this story a bit more different than when she had told it the last time.
"Since I was a kid I was brought to all sorts of experts. To try and pick my brain for what was wrong with me. They could never help me."
Thabisa wanted to establish this history first, inform Valli that she had probably seen it all before. And in a way she was informing him she believed this was going to end the same way.
"As long as I can remember I've been seeing nightmares, ones that are really realistic. So realistic I can smell the blood and sometimes even feel the pain. Nightmares of monsters, all kinds of monsters, and every night they either chase me, or maul me, tear me apart, do the same things to people I know, or to me and people I know at the same time."
Thabisa's voice was pretty steady, almost monotone, as she explained, but her hand slowly became a fist. She had the urge to draw, as she remembered what she was describing. She wanted to draw the monsters out, get them on page, immortalized and unmoving and at her mercy. They were much less horrifying like that.

"So, that makes me say I'm crazy. Or at least well on my way to that. Since I think you can probably imagine what the nightmares I just described can do to a person when she sees them night after night after night."
Thabisa looked at Valli with a small tired smirk.

Thabisa had expected Valli to react in many ways, but the reaction he ended up with was the one Thabisa had not predicted. She looked at Valli, very confused and frowning, sitting up straight on the couch.
"What do you mean 'non-psychological causes'? You mean, like, magic or some shit? I was a normal ass human before, no powers or anything, it's not possible."

Brain tumor. Yeah, Thabisa had been checked for those too, and considering medical science was probably better than now in the future Thabisa didn't want to go through those examinations anymore. In her memory they had been painful. But what Valli was explaining was messing with Thabisa's head, with the way she saw herself. Her whole life she had been told she was crazy, and that there was no helping her. And suddenly this guy was telling Thabisa the blame wasn't in her? That made her feel so many different things, and Thabisa's frowned became deeper and deeper as Valli explained further. It was now obvious that she was confused, and Thabisa began staring at the floor.

"No, it's just not- No. I have to be crazy. I have to be, if I'm not, if it's just some magical..bullshit..."
Thabisa's voice trailed off, as her brain was going way too fast for her mouth to go along. Her eyes were unsteady, as million thoughts went through her head. How had she not thought about this? But it wasn't possible, magic didn't work on Thabisa. Wouldn't the nightmares have stopped after she got the gems? And what if it was? That just meant it was hopeless. Magic didn't work on Thabisa, she couldn't be healed or something. And it was...just...
"It's too easy, it should be my fault, something in me, I shouldn't be able to just blame it on something magical. I got to pay my dues, I got to suffer and work my ass off to fix this, otherwise it's just...it's unfair!"
Thabisa didn't even know if she made sense anymore, her whole mind was in the middle of trying to reform, and it was starting to hurt. Thabisa had a monster headache now, and she brought a hand to her temple and rubbed it, still frowning.