Private Finished First Session: Rei

Keen · Feb 8, 2018

That was a lot to respond to. This was like being in a classroom, but instead of there being other kids for the teacher to focus on, the only student here was Rei, and he had all the attention. There was no way to wiggle out of this conversation. No way to do it other than directly asking Doctor Bryndisarson to stop, but that made Rei look like a loser. He was no loser, he just needed more time to think, but being silent made the atmosphere feel tight and uncomfortable.

The examples given to him made it hard for Rei to argue too. After thinking for a few minutes, Rei managed to come up with a response. "I guess so..." he said with a near mutter, avoiding eye contact with his therapist. "If everyone has a bias, what's yours? Or... uh... your stereotypes... I guess... the ones you have and the ones people have about you." Initially, Rei wanted to skip to the point and ask what Doctor Bryndisarson thought his biases were, but this question sounded much more interesting. If everyone had a bias or stereotype, then so did Doctor Bryndisarson.

@Romi

Romi · Feb 12, 2018

Getting personal was generally a bad thing. If a therapist spent more time talking about themselves then about their patient, that was the sign of a bad therapist, but it wasn't unheard of, or against any rules. At times it could be helpful, helping to humanize the therapist, and to make it clear they put their money where their mouth was. He wasn't just talking the talk - he was willing to walk to walk as well.

"Of course I have some. I'd be hard pressed to tell you what other people felt about me, though. I assume they probably think I'm a meddler, or... oh, the old standby is that when I interact with people outside of therapy sessions, people tend to assume you're analyzing them. It comes with the profession, the idea that therapists somehow can't help themselves."

Which was likely not what Rei was caring about. Rei was likely hoping that Valli would reveal some deep dark secret... or, more than likely, they were hoping that he wouldn't, so that Rei could weasel out of it themselves.

"I have a hard time trusting older women," Valli said. "Certain body types, especially. Conventionally attractive. It's a knee jerk, gut reaction that I've worked on in my own therapy, but it still exists, and it's important for me to recognize them, so that I can work past them. It's not wrong to have a gut reaction, but it is wrong to hold them against other people, so it's something I keep in mind."

@Keen

Keen · Feb 17, 2018

It was difficult for Rei to tell if he was successful or not with his question. He expected his therapist to put up more of a fight. To be more stubborn about talking about himself. Doctor Bryndisarson was supposed to show himself as a hypocrite, but he went on to ruin that by going ahead and answering the question with more than Rei expected. Rei put on a smirk, trying to seem satisfied like all of this went as planned.

Smiling felt like the wrong move. He went silent for a moment moments, trying to think of a way to respond. All that he could think about was why older women made Doctor Bryndisarson uncomfortable. The only thing holding him back from asking was a whispering voice telling him that bringing that up was too rude. He had no intentions of interrogating his therapist.

"I don't think any of my biases are bad then. I'm not hurting anyone. If I don't like someone, I ignore them." Rei could see where this topic was heading. He wanted to avoid another argument like the one he had with Doctor Summers. No matter how many "biases" or "stereotypes" he held, he was certain that nothing he did could be taken as threatening or aggressive.

@Romi

Romi · Feb 26, 2018

The smirk wasn't good. It meant that Rei was still seeing it as a me versus you, which wasn't really a healthy thing for any therapy session.

They'd have to work on that.

"Biases, if extreme, can hurt others... but I think they hurt yourself more than they hurt anyone else. They hold you back from things you can enjoy. From chances you could pursue. Ignoring someone is alright in extreme situations, but if you ignore large swathes of people, you'll miss out on opportunities."

@Keen

Keen · Mar 6, 2018

"I won't ignore everyone." A, Duh, was implied at the end there. "Lots of people look human here. They act human too. Ignoring everyone would just..." He did a few vague hand motions, trying to figure out what he was trying to say. Once deciding, he crossed his arms roughly and made a brusque huff. "I don't know. It'd be hard. What opportunities will I miss? I'll go back to Hell and make my own opportunities there."

Rei could tell he was losing track of the point he was trying to make. His mouth was moving faster than he could think at this point. He needed to slow down and think more carefully. Now that he thought about it, he said more than he should have. Rei turned his head away from Valli, slightly towards the left, slightly downward, in an attempt to hide a light blush. Maybe Doctor Bryndisarson had not noticed.

@Romi

Romi · Mar 7, 2018

"Isn't it important to prove that you can make it here? Even if you decide you want to go back to Hell when you're old enough, it isn't any good to close off options."

But it was obvious that Rei was getting flustered. Valli had only half caught the blush, but it didn't really matter. What mattered was that Rei was nearing the end of their rope, burnt out and uncomfortable. The comfort of his patients came first, and Valli did feel like they'd covered a lot of ground.

"I think we've covered a lot for one session," Valli said. "Why don't we call it a day here?" He gave his watch a brief glance, decided the time was close enough, and gave a little nod.

"If you don't have any questions, I'll see you next week?"

@Keen

Keen · Mar 7, 2018

Rei considered the idea. He thought it was kind of dumb, but he did not want to brush off anything Doctor Bryndisarson said too early. That would make him seem foolish, brash, and immature. Not that he had any time to make a response. The sessions seemed to be over. Rei sighed with relief, allowing his body to go a bit limp. For the most part, he was happy that session was over. He knew what he was doing now and had a week to prepare himself for his newest therapist. A small part of Rei felt embarrassed, however. Like Doctor Bryndisarson was tired of him and was rushing him out for some time alone or for a more tolerable patient. The tip of Rei's mouth twitched slightly at that idea, and he was quick to disregard it.

"If you want..." he responded as he pushed himself out of his chair. "I don't have any more questions, so, um..." his feet fidgeted in place a little, unsure of how farewells went during therapy. He settled on a, "bye," before exiting. He tried to put on a relaxed stroll, showing that he came out of the appointment strong, yet he looked somewhat stiff and uncomfortable as he shuffled out of the office.

@Romi

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