Find New Beginning In Defeat

The weather was fairly cold, but that was nothing new for Huilu. She had just the other day returned from Akt'Anir and there the weather had been three times as cold. Huilu was safely bundled up, wearing two layers and her head concealed with a warm hat. Cold could cause serious damage for her, as Huilu's missing fingers and toes proved. But despite that Huilu enjoyed the crispness of cold air, the glimmer of the snow and how the sky looked more blue than ever against the dazzling white. It was perhaps slightly self-destructive, but Huilu liked winter and outdoors.
And especially now she needed them.

It had been a very long, and very draining week for Huilu. She was now the former leader of the Ehr'Sha clan and a counselor for the new, well-liked leader. Huilu was very happy with the members' choice. The leader was an old friend of Huilu's, one who knew the difficulties of Huilu's youth and adulthood. And even though some of the clan members had complained she had chosen Huilu to be one of her counselors and the representative of the Ehr'Sha on Manta Carlos, which had come as a surprise even for Huilu herself. But she was beyond grateful, because Huilu wanted to help her clan. Her father had been a terrible person and a leader, but Huilu wasn't ready to give up because of his mistakes and tyranny. She had genuine love for her clan, and though she had secretly fought for them for centuries Huilu had not done enough. Yes, it saddened her the Ehr'Sha did not want her as their leader. But it was very understandable. Huilu was a reminder of centuries of tyranny and unfairness, her mere presence returned the Ehr'Sha to the memories of those horrible days. Which was the reason Huilu had erased herself for now. She would let the clan form itself again, create a new order without the shadow of the old one over them. And...
Huilu couldn't say she wasn't relieved as well. She was cunning, and good at politics, but ultimately gentle. She was in her element when supporting, assisting, helping and advising. The role of the leader was not suited for her current self. Her current self with decades of insecurities, secrets and regrets. But one day, after collecting the trust of her people and her own self, Huilu wanted to be a leader again. The kind of leader her father could never be.

Nevertheless Huilu had returned back to Manta Carlos as a defeated leader, a usurped queen, or that was how Huilu suspected some would see it. But she did not see it like that at all. Huilu had come back to heal, to find herself outside the role of a daughter of the dictator. Such as the clan was rebuilding itself Huilu wanted to do so as well.
And Huilu was waiting for a person, who had strenghtened her resolve to do so. She and Irso had plans to go for a walk, and Huilu was sitting and waiting on a bench near the park entrance. She was easily discernable, her long coat and hat were pure white and her bright blue hair was clearly discernable against them both, as it fell on her shoulders and upper back.
Huilu dug out her phone to check on the time, five minutes left until their meeting time. Let's see if Irso would be punctual or fashionably late.

The possibility already passed Huilu's mind, that Irso was indeed the type to be fashionably late. During their earlier outings he had been quite punctual, actually early, but there could still be many more mysteries to the man.
But that possibility was erased, when Huilu saw Irso descending from the sky and just seeing him made a small smile appear on Huilu's face. His very first words made her chuckle softly, and she stood up, accepting the tea with a grateful nod.
"You would expect nothing less of an ice dragon, yes?"
Huilu said with a soft chuckle, and to Irso's bow she instinctively answered with a slight curtsy, wrapping her hands around the hot drink Irso had brought her.
"I am glad to be back. Thank you for this drink, truly thoughtful of you."

Perhaps because on their first meeting Irso had been wearing a very unique attire seeing him in such normal clothing was strange for Huilu. But nevertheless Irso made it work very well, the clothes looked wonderful on him. And the turtle pendant around his neck brought it all together in a very Irso way.
"It's good to see you again. I hope seeing like this outdoors isn't an inconvenience. I wouldn't want to be the only one enjoying myself."
Huilu realized it was selfish of her to demand they meet like this, and if Irso wanted to retire indoors she would follow in suit. Especially since the air around her was always slightly colder, it most definitely did not help. Huilu would've moved slightly farther away from Irso, but the bench was still behind her so that was not possibly at the moment.

Irso's words warmed Huilu's heart and mind, she was glad he felt the same as she did.
"During my visit to Akt'Anir I often thought it was a shame I could not share it with you. So let us talk to our hearts' content now, we must fill the time we have lost."
Huilu followed after Irso, and redirected a snowball that flew dangerously close to another passerby with a slight move of a finger. She smiled at the playing children, that display was no different from Akt'Anir. Children played in the snow and their laughter filled the air, although in the community the children did not need hands to have a snowball fight.

It was true that during her time in Akt'Anir Huilu had spent many hours thinking about Irso, and their visits to art galleries and their long discussions. Huilu has spent a lot of time speaking during her visit, and yet she now craved to talk to Irso. The conversations with Irso were different, they were invigorating instead of draining, like many conversations were after a time. There was something special about Irso, perhaps it was the great wisdom he had accumulated during his long life, or his curiosity that still persevered after all he had gone through. Nevertheless Huilu had not once even though of getting tired of his company.

Huilu considered Irso's question, and although her mind wanted to wander and give an overly elaborate answer she suppressed her words.
"I am both happy to be back on the island, and I was happy to see my home and people. Both places hold things that are very dear to me, at this point I must admit they are both home to me."
Huilu turned to gently smile at Irso, she knew he must've been curious as to what had happened. Huilu couldn't blame him. Had she been in Irso's position Huilu would've had many burning questions.
"I am no longer the leader of my clan."
It felt...freeing to say that outloud, and Huilu exhaled slightly as she looked forward again and sipped her tea, there was still a small smile on her face.

As always Irso's words were understanding, and if Huilu hadn't known better she could've sworn Irso could feel her thoughts. Huilu wondered how his words would change, if he knew the recent history of her clan. What her father did, to the clan, to her mother, the the clan.
But perhaps it was too early to talk about that to Irso. About how immense the weight off of Huilu's shoulders was. How free it made her feel, like she could do anything.
But these feelings of joy and the deep feelings of sorrow walked hand in hand, and Huilu couldn't share the other without exposing the other. So Huilu kept her happiness moderate.

"The reformation will take time, and require many minds that work in harmony. I was chosen to serve as a counselor for our new leader, she is a wise person with good intentions, and I have the honour of calling her my friend."
Huilu purposefully avoided addressing her own feelings, merely talking about the current situation, trying to stay in facts. Because she couldn't say how her presence would merely hinder the process, that could cause more suspicion and questions to appear in Irso's mind.
"Their decision was the right one. I am not the right leader for them. But I am happy to be able to help them, in any way I can."

Huilu didn't take notice of Irso's floating, although during their earlier outings she had taken note that he did it from time to time, perhaps when in thought. Huilu thought of it as charming, it was similar to how the gently tapped her ice fingers against each other when it thought.

"I have...had some time to think about it, consider all the outcomes and possibilities. This is the best one, for them and for me. I always knew I was not suited to lead, not as a figurehead. I belong behind the curtain, so to say. I am the voice of reason, the support, the one who offers perspective and advice. And I'm happy to be so. It is the position where I can see everyone grow, where I can best be of use."
Or at least for now. Huilu said all this and meant it, but she also knew that it wasn't all she wanted. Some day, after she had grown and healed, she would stand in the spotlight again, and this time make all that looked proud.

Before she knew it Huilu was only talking about herself, and she felt bad about that.
"I am talking on and on, forgive me. Please tell me, how are you?"

Huilu was actively aware of all the risks and possibilities her decisions included, and despite that she had not been able to completely let go of the possibility to help. It was selfish of her, and even though her leadership was much more limited than that of the other counselor Huilu was still happy to know she could do something when it truly counted.

Even with all her uncertainties Huilu was an individual, that was very knowledgeable about both her strengths and weaknesses. She did not think she sounded narcissistic in the least, because behind every strength was a weakness. Huilu was indecisive, too emotional, and she kept things too close to herself and ended up hurting herself as well as her loved ones. Huilu's father had only seen all these weaknesses, had pegged Huilu weak and had tried to get her mated and settled down, out of his way until it was time for her to take over and perhaps become a puppet of one of his trusted followers. But Huilu had in turn seen this and denied herself of possible happiness, because that would've meant living in a lie.
Ehr'Sha had nearly fallen apart under Huilu's father's rule, and it would've done so during Huilu's had she not stepped down. Realizing that had finally given Huilu the strength to let go. For her people.

It was good to let Irso speak for a change, if just for politeness' sake. And Huilu wanted to be distracted from herself and the situation she was in. It would've been wrong to just talk about herself, especially when Huilu truly wanted to know how Irso was, and what he was doing.
Huilu showed special interest when Irso mentioned new designs, she knew of what Irso meant by them but had never seen his illustrations herself. Simply the thought of seeing brand new life come forth in front of her eyes was an exhilirating thought, and Huilu would've very much wanted to see the fledging state of that life as a sketch on paper.
"I must admit I'm very curious to hear more about your new designs. And your own adventures in the forest. I also find it a bottomless source of information, as I grew without ever seeing more than five trees in one place. It's much more mysterious and...alive I could ever imagine. And I have a vivid imagination."

Irso's words both amused and intrigued Huilu, but initially she chuckled, imagining what Irso was describing.
"Please do introduce me on another occasion. I would be delighted to meet this new family of yours. Naturally, depending on if your membership does not