Fighting in a war I only know exists

Tilly glanced over, her halfway sober brain starting to throb from how this girl talked. She was a posh little bitch, eh? She tossed the last of the cans in the back of her van, turning off the music and shutting the doors so she could lean against them. "Ain't about bein' shocked, lass."

Lifting her arms, she hefted her hammer in both hands and rolled it over along its haft, staring at the gorgeous intricacies in the metal. Although to Serena, who couldn't see or feel the hammer at all, Tilly would look like she was just staring at her hands and rolling her fingers awkwardly. "I'm just tired o' bein' tossed 'round like a fuckin' ragdoll. I ain't e'er gonna gett' be normal."

"Huh? Oh," Tilly said, pulling out of her distraction to look back at Serena. "It's..." She sighed. Explaining this was going to be way more difficult than she really had the energy for. "It's me hammer. I know ye can't see it. It's just... a thing. Too much, too long to explain."

"I know I'll ne'er be normal. If I could go back in time. and not have to deal with any of it... but no. I couldn't. It'd just fuck somebody else up."

Tilly was almost shocked by the sudden anecdote about Serena having spread her parents' ashes around the world. She hung her head slightly, a little ashamed at her own complaining when this girl had clearly gone through a lot. "Sorry 'bout yer ma and pa, lass. I, ah, well..."

She frowned a bit harder, her own uncertainty mixing with the growing headache she could feel coming. Setting her hammer down on the ground, where it left no impression of even being there, she opened the back doors of the van again and grabbed a blister pack of ibuprofen. Best to head the headache off before it got too bad.

"I ain't really sure how to respond to that, if I'm bein' honest. I just know I ain't really got the luxury of havin' anythin' stable. Cunts on t' other side won't allow it."

Tilly inhaled sharply, opening her mouth to speak again but not able to find the words. She tried again and only ended up looking more confused than before. Finally however, after several more seconds of deliberation, she came to the words that would best express how Serena's last tangent.

"Pardon me but what the fuck? Nay, lass. T' cunts on t' other side won't allow it cause they fuckin try and kill me e'ry fuckin' day. Can't exactly go punch t' ol' clock at a nine t'fiver if'n I'm gettin' tossed around by a great fuckin' bastard wi' more teeth'n this place 'as arse'oles can I?"

Slamming the door back shut on her van, Tilly shook her head at the end of her little tirade and finished with a muttered, "fucks' sake."

Those words brought back the entire flood of emotions that had brought Tilly out to the beach that night. Pulled her deep into drunken anger and despair. She scrunched up her face uncomfortably, somewhere between the look someone gives when they suck on a lemon and nausea.

"No," she snapped, unnecessarily aggressive towards Serena. "There ain't. Now why don't ye fuck off back t' yer drawin' or whate'er t' fuck yer out here fer."

She was done. Angry. She just wanted to drive and drive and find some nice street divider to wrap her van around. But that would mean some other poor sap would have to deal with her bullshit instead. So she just wanted to drive.