Don't Tell Dad

"Even there, things weren't always clear cut," Angelo said. "We had good people who did bad things, and bad people who did good things. Even if people tried to fit them into the villain and hero molds, we always ran into the underbelly. A lot of the people that my team worked with were villains. Even if our mentors were supposed to be the best of the best, we had so many people on our side who'd have been classed as villains..."

He wasn't even thinking of his father. More people like Finch and Armourer.

He hadn't really thought about the question he'd been asked before, and he paused for a long moment, lost in thought.

"I... yes. I prefer it here. Just not for that reason. Back there I was very... restricted, I guess. You wouldn't think someone running around as a super hero would be, but I was. I was... confined by my father's reputation, I guess."

He paused a moment, reminding himself that secrecy was the most important part of therapy, and then carried on.

"He was a villain. A super-villain, technically. I grew up knowing that was a thing, and that I wasn't able to talk about it. I didn't have friends over because I didn't want to risk it. I couldn't really talk about what he did. I think most people had a general idea that whatever my dad did, it was something pretty bad. I don't think people realized how involved in it all he was though. I think if they had, there'd have been more... objection, I guess, to me being there."

An open secret.

"I want to go into politics. It's something I think... that I would be good with, I guess. But that would never have been an option in Halcyon."

Was that a good guess, or had he seen a poster? Angelo supposed it didn't matter. He nodded to the mention of dipping his foot in, and then the conversation lulled. He'd been dancing around it, hadn't he?

Because he still hadn't said why he was there.

"I... guess I would say I've adjusted well. I have new friends here. Good friends. I've made amends with people I'd have called my villains. No one's expecting heroics from me. No one's judging me because of my father. Most of the problems I had before have stopped being... well, things. I'm better than I was."

There was a long, long pause, during which Angelo wasn't quite looking at Douglas's face (or his helmet, which was a close enough approximation).

"I guess I've just been kind of... avoiding the issue. It was an issue before I got here, but the world was ending. No one had time to sit down and see if I was adjusting well. And when I got here, I think everyone just assumed that I was adjusting so well there must not have been anything wrong. But... a thing happened before I got here, and I guess I never dealt with that."

Even if he wasn't aware of it, Angelo's flesh-and-blood right hand had wandered over, resting on the back of his robotic one.

How did he know? The doctor--not a doctor, technically--was reading him like a book, and Angelo found it slightly unnerving. Did he wear his heart on his sleeve that much? Did he gather information externally like Angelo did?

No. He was just, whether he wanted to admit it or not, very easy to read.

"I... there's a lot of context. A lot of... situation. What really matters is that my father - he was a villain, like I said. There was a misunderstanding. Someone I trusted--who was a hero to me--misunderstood something that was said to them. They thought that me and my friends were being threatened by my dad. And they... they did a really stupid thing. They tried to kill my dad. Only..."

He faltered, and then after a moment just gestured to his robotic arm.

He wasn't sure he wanted to actually say it. Only he almost killed me instead. Only I almost died. Only I lost almost everything.

No one had said it to him. No one had said there's no chance for closure. He'd known, because all the factors were there, laid out for him, and because he wasn't ignorant.

But he'd never want to think about it.

"No," he said after a moment. "He... after it was done he made sure I got help. He took me to the hospital. It was one of the factors that kept me alive. But after that, I never saw him again. He's... he's definitely dead now. If he wasn't dead before, he got left behind in Halcyon."

He was obviously very aware of what was going on, so he didn't make a point of explaining what had happened there. Almost all of it was public knowledge anyway. It was in the newspapers. What wasn't? You could infer it.

"He... I don't even know how I feel about him."

His feelings about Breakneck? They felt like... like a whirlpool. A spiral that never really lead anywhere. One thing lead to another. He'd nearly killed him trying to save him. He'd been trying to be good, and they'd pushed them to break the rules. He'd been impulsive, but well meaning. It was a thousand contradictions in one.

How had he affected him? The physical was obvious. He'd lost his arm. He'd almost lost his life. But he'd also saved him, trying to do better after his mistake.

He wondered what had happened to him after. He wondered if he'd been happy. He'd helped, in the end. Had he felt forgiven? Or had he felt nothing but despair at the end?

"I'll... I'll write it all down," Angelo said after a long moment. "I did something similar, before. I wrote a letter to my father, to say goodbye. Only he wasn't dead, and he found his way back, so..."

He couldn't help himself, letting out a little laugh under his breath.

"Somehow I doubt I'll get a repeat performance."