Private Finished Doesn't Matter. You're my Sibling

Tadashi, in human form, slowly made his way through the courtyard towards the spot he was supposed to meet Shiro. His heart was beating and his hands were sweating beneath his gloves. New gloves of course, because his other ones had been shredded when he lost control in the woods. He was pretty sure they were a bit darker grey than his old ones. At least they looked that way to him.... He had also tried to select a white longsleeve shirt and grey slacks based on their darkness, and the limited number of colorful clothes in his closet, but for all he knew he was wrong.

He snapped himself out of absently thinking about his gloves and the fact that he no longer knew what color anything was. His focus had to be on what he was going to say to Shiro. Messing things up again... Well he couldn't afford to let that happen.

The bench was a little out of the way so no one would probably bother the two of them but open enough that either one of them could just leave if they became too uncomfortable. Tadashi hadn't even considered telling Tomo about the meeting. This was between him and Shiro. No need to risk upsetting her about it- again.

Finally Tadashi caught sight of Shiro waiting by the bench. They were in male human form, probably because it seemed like the best way to keep things as normal as possible. Even from a distance however Tadashi could see they were very nervous. Not that he could blame them. He was nervous enough himself and he wasn't the one that had been rejected and abandoned last time. At least that's what Tadashi was sure Shiro had thought about the incident.

Tadashi forced himself to keep walking towards Shiro, though he allowed himself to start twirling a pencil between the gloved fingers on his right hand. It was his absolute favorite pencil and it was helping just a little bit with his own nerves.

"Hey Shiro," he called out as he got closer.

Damn, he-they look so tired.

"I was afraid that you would refuse to talk to me after what happened at the concert and then I was making everyone uncomfortable in the community center and..." He hadn't even really begun and already he was starting to stumble. Tadashi paused to take a breath and clear his throat. "Sorry. I'm going to try to explain."




@Saber

If Tadashi could have just gone back in time to stop himself from from running away he would have. Then he wouldn't have hurt Shiro, he wouldn't have lost control and neither he nor Tomo would have had to go to the hospital. But that wasn't an option.

They had agreed to meet by a bench but Tadashi really wasn't feeling much like sitting down just yet. He wanted to pace around and try to burn off some of his nervous energy but that wasn't the right thing to do. Instead he walked stood close enough to Shiro that they wouldn't need to raise their voices but he was trying to leave enough space so Shiro didn't get uncomfortable.

Tadashi looked down when Shiro mentioned the hospital. There was no hint of anger in him, just sadness and shame. "Right. I guess I shouldn't have just left. Either time," he said quietly as he fiddled with the pencil. "Look, I want you to know I wasn't rejecting you for your... for who you are. I was just really confused and didn't know what to do or say." He had been so focused on trying to find the words that Tadashi was still looking down at the ground. A little bit of that might also have been him afraid and unsure how Shiro was going to react.

It's 'fine'?

Tadashi clearly didn't think it was actually fine but in the hopes of the two of them moving past all that he nodded. Finally he raised his head so that he was actually looking at Shiro. He was worried and concerned, but he was trying to be calm.

"That's ok, i'm not asking you to suddenly act like we've been together all our lives. The truth is we have all been split up for like 14 years. Stuff has happened." He was trying not to be specific because certain rumors had been circulating about what Shiro's "mom" had done to them. Not to mention whatever Tomo had been through too. Tadashi's own bad memories seemed to pale in comparison but that didn't mean they didn't hurt too.

"I can settle for you just wanting to be friends for now. That's probably the most reasonable thing to do." He tried to give the most supportive smile he could muster. Being friends was a huge step up from what Tadashi was expecting they were going to have to start with.

"But i'm sorry. I can't think of you as anything less than my sibling. Before being brought here I was afraid I had lost everyone. Now I have both you and Tomo back. That is really, really important to me." It was probably a little too much too fast, but he was being honest. He barely knew anything about Shiro but he loved them just as much as he did Tomo. Seeing either of them hurt or upset was painful to him. It wasn't rational or reasonable but it was true.

Tadashi tucked the pencil behind his right ear and then offered that gloved hand for Shiro to shake.

Tadashi was so relieved that Shiro shook his hand. He would have probably preferred a hug but that would have been asking far too much. Honestly he wasn't entirely sure the handshake wasn't going beyond what Shiro was comfortable with

Things probably wouldn't really be settled for a long time but at least there was a good starting point forming. Tadashi was honest that he was still going to consider Shiro his sibling no matter what but if it bothered Shiro that much he could just keep that to himself for a while and be content with treating their relationship as just friends. At least on the outside. It was very uncomfortable to think that Shiro might never let the two of them get as close as they should be as siblings.

Tadashi kept the friendly smile on his face as they finished their handshake. "Since we're friends I should probably give you my phone number just in case you want to text me or something." Tadashi pulled out his phone so he could show Shiro his number. He didn't have it memorized yet and really he had only given the number to a small number of people so far. "I hope we can hang out a little more now that we have some of the stuff cleared up between us. Tomo too." Tadashi was genuinely excited about being able to spend time with Shiro. Even just seeing him in the community center and not having to feel like he needed to leave to avoid a confrontation would be wonderful. But he kept that excitement under wraps.

Apparently Shiro was bothered by this whole family stuff so Tadashi was putting on his familiar calm, happy face. He was usually pretty good at that, all things considered. Even if it was just his mask- his way of hiding from the stuff that was too difficult to deal with.

Tadashi fumbled a little with setting up Shiro as a contact in his phone. It wasn't like he had done that too many times before. He probably managed to do it without looking too stupid, he hoped. He wasn't really sure what they should do either. Probably something fun and easy. Something that wouldn't force them to have talk too much. Clearly neither of them were super comfortable with that.

Something in the city? Honestly Tadashi was at a bit of a loss. The thing he had enjoyed the most lately in the city was shopping for new pencils and supplies but he didn't need any more for a while and he pretty much figured Shiro would find that terribly boring. They could eat somewhere or go see a movie but neither option was super appealing. Plus Shiro had probably already seen whatever movies they were interested in. "We'll have to figure out something fun. I can't think of anything right now but it'll come to us. Even if we can't think of something they have all kinds of stuff planned for people to do here." Tadashi smiled. Heck even if they were just running around as cats that would be fun enough for him but hopefully they would find something that wasn't related to them being cats. Just two sib- friends hanging out like normal people. Preferably without all the drama if they could help it.

The way Shiro had said Tomo's name made it feel like Tadashi had made a big mistake mentioning them all hanging out together. She was loud and a bit aggressive so it probably made sense that she would make it difficult for Shiro to get used to. Heck, they were having trouble getting used to Tadashi and he was probably the easier of the two to get along with. Still Tadashi knew that there was a very caring person under that tough-girl cat exterior of Tomo's and he really wanted them all to get along. "If that's too much too soon I understand. She can be.... not so calm sometimes." An understatement, but he wasn't about to go badmouthing her just because she handled things a little different than him. It wasn't like he hadn't just gone off the deep end and been decidedly un-calm not that long ago himself.

Tadashi wasn't really sure why Shiro was thanking him either. He was just apologizing for being a shitty brother and being his usual kind self. Maybe a little nicer because this was his sibling he was talking to but nothing terribly extreme. "Hey, it's ok to feel weird about this. If you need anything I don't mind helping. Bonus points if it distracts me from homework or school." He grinned, though in the back of his mind he remembered that his teachers had threatened quite a bit of detention if he missed more classes or stopped turning in his homework again. It would be an acceptable sacrifice for his sibling. Blood is thicker than.... grades? Well that one didn't really make sense but the sentiment was there.

He wanted to pat Shiro on the shoulder or something to give him a little comfort but he had to remind himself that would probably just make Shiro more uncomfortable at the moment. Instead after they released the handshake he just stood there with a bit of a smile on his face.