Dadgelo Part One

Caelin was quiet, thoughtful, for a few moments after Shay’s speech. Honestly, her emotions were… a mess. She didn’t know what to think, at all, about anything, let alone about adoption.

Another adoption.

Because her parents had left her once again.

Caelin coughed into elbow, pressing her back into the wall she was crouched against. There was a tightness in her throat and a sting in her eyes and Caelin hated them. She hated sadness, hated pain, hated the way they always snuck up and latched on whenever life was going okay. She swallowed, wrapping one arm around her waist and one around her knees. Caelin was so… so hurt... so angry... She’d finally found a home, a place with real love and real happiness, and then it had left her. The two men who promised to love her and left her, without a plan, without a leader, without anything, and now her whole family was crumbling into pieces. Her whole life... Everything she’d come to love. The house, with the swirly slide down the stairs… Her room, with the big cherry blossom tree she’d crafted in the corner… Her parents...

No, she told herself, breathing deeply, don’t, Cae. It wasn’t their choice. They had to leave. They had to leave, just like Mommy did, just like Rakka. And Rakka came back. And I’ll find Mommy. And my daddies will come home. They’ll come home, because they called me their Princess and they… they have to…

But her willpower was weakening. She wanted to be happy, strove for optimism at all times, but this… Caelin understood - she tried to understand - that it wasn’t her fault, and that they’d come home. She told herself this fact constantly. So why… Why was Shay going with Angelo? Why was he adopting her…? If they were coming back…?

The truth hit Caelin like a sack of bricks and she realized, with a lurch, that they weren’t. Her daddies were gone, gone for a long time, gone for maybe forever, and they’d abandoned her. They’d abandoned everyone. It was undeniable.

And Caelin knew, at once, that she just needed to get over it.

Setting her jaw and blinking away what sting was left in her eyes, Caelin rose from her spot against the wall. She couldn’t let the sadness and anger control her. She’d pledged to be as happy as the ocean, damn it, and that was what she was going to do. Caelin took a steadying breath, then too, and marched out of the room, her tiny hands balled into even tinier fists.

Shay thought that moving in with Angelo was a good idea, then? Maybe. Caelin loved her sister, loved her dearly, and was determined to stay with her at all costs… Even if it meant being adopted again. But she refused to go into this blind-sighted. Not again. Caelin wanted to make sure that, this time, no one was going to abandon her, and no one was going to abandon Shay either. She simply wouldn’t allow it.

So, Caelin waited patiently, watching Angelo through the window as he finished up his call. When he came in, she didn’t waste a moment of time in marching right over to the man. She stood before him, her most intimidating face on, and stared him in the eyes. Little and cute as Caelin was, her glare was a pit of liquid fire, and her fragile stance was strong. Years and years of pain and strength defined her expression, and it was clear that she meant business. She was… dangerous. Her skinny fingers could melt a man in two, and she wanted this to show. Caelin wanted to be taken seriously, because the remnants of her family were the most important part of her life, and she was determined to protect it.

Her young voice firm and steady, Caelin said, “We need to talk.”

Caelin crossed her arms as Angelo spoke, accepting everything with a spoon of salt (extra strength) and a heavy dose of scrutiny. He knew Shay, which was a plus. He was half-reaper, which was also a plus. He wasn't here on police business... But were police even good? Caelin spent years as a guinea pig in an illegal-or-was-it lab, experimented on every day, without so much as assistence from the police. They'd never caught on. Then, she was adopted by two kingpins and inducted into a huge game. Police weren't exactly adored, were they, in a gang?

Logically, Caelin knew that policemen were supposed to help people, and that she'd probably be really safe living with him. But doctors were supposed to be good, too, and what had they ever done but hurt her? Angelo said he wasn't adopting them on police business, but... What if he was lying? What if it was all a trap?

The judgement was evident on Caelin's face as she studied Angelo's. She picked her words with care as she said to him, "So... Why, exactly, do you want to adopt us? Us. Rosales kids. Police aren't supposed to like us, so what's your angle?" Caelin furrowed her brows, watching for any sign of dishonesty, of panic. "You know we're all screwed up, right? So what's in it for you?"

The little girl shifted her weight from one foot to the other, thoughtful. "And my name is Caelin. I melt people, so don't touch me."

Caelin's arms stayed crossed as she listened, contemplating Angelo's words. She tried, really tried, to see her life like that — normal, happy, and centered around tacos. Did that mean no more body guards? No more background checks when she wanted to play with a friend? No more watching how much she said, in case she got her parents in trouble? Angelo made it sound like, in living with him, she would find a safe haven... and it sounded great. It sounded so great, in fact, that Caelin couldn't believe it. Safety was so unlike anything Caelin had experienced, even under the protection of her fathers, that she couldn't help the wry smile found a place on her lips.

"I'm really happy that you got to have that chance," she said, her arms remaining crossed, "to escape people hurting you, and to live like a 'normal' kid, whatever that means... But I don't think I'm going to get that chance. I can't even picture a life like that."

Caelin tightened her crossed arms, her gaze steady, stubborn, and disbelieving. "You want to fix us, but I spent my whole life in a tiny white room surrounded by people who used me like a Potato Head doll. You're not fixing that, and Taco Tuesday's not going to be my big worry, ever. So..."

She felt a sudden surge of indignant anger. Caelin's thoughts were moving a mile a minute, and she couldn't help but point a little finger at Angelo, her other hand returning to her side in a fist. "So don't talk about my daddies' gang like that! Compared to before, the Rosales was awesome! At least I could worry about people hurting me! Before, it was just a fact. I couldn't be afraid because there was no iffy about it, and then my daddies found me and loved me and gave me a home, and there's nothing wrong with that!"

Caelin blinked hard, fighting to regain control of herself. She didn't want to seem weak in front of this man. She was supposed to be a strong siblings, and strong siblings stayed composed, even when they were angry at everything, just to make sure their family stayed okay. So, she took a deep breath, suppressed the little heart pounding away in her chest, and lowered her pointed hand back down to her side. Caelin didn't know where that came from. Just a moment ago, she was so angry with her parents - she still was - but... But she loved them, and she... But....

But nothing. Calmness, determination and control. That was how gang leaders acted in stressful situations, how they held themselves and went about heavy business. That's what Caelin needed to focus on. She couldn't succumb to the rage that burned inside her. She couldn't.

Caelin cleared her throat, tucking her violent emotions back into their little locked box.

"I - we - don't need your stupid chances. And you don't need us. So, I'm gonna ask again. Why do you want to waste your time on kids who don't need fixing? Some of us can't get fixed no matter how hard you try, so why are you?"