Boundaries

There came a point in the life of every child in which they learned not to give hugs to strange men.

For most, that vital moment occurred prior to kindergarten, when the child's values were still taking root.

Unfortunately, however, Caelin Rhodes never learned that lesson. She didn't learn any of them, and her unwillingness to do so was causing the entire world a lot of grief.

Caelin scuffed her shoes as she approached the door of Angelo's house - her house, by then, for over a year. It was a comfortable place, really. More comfortable than any place in which Caelin had ever lived, and if she could express her gratitude for Angelo's generosity, she would, a thousand times over. But Caelin was a problem child, and kindness no longer came as easily to her as it once had. Kindness did not come easily at all, and lately, even with her added effort, it felt as though this house - and every bond that make it loving - was shattering like glass around her.

As though she was shattering these bonds herself.

Melting them down to something less than shriveled remains, like a flower held between her barren fingers.

Caelin swallowed, took a deep breath, and braced herself for the onslaught she knew she deserved, but would inevitably argue against anyway. She let the breath go as she opened the door.

"Angelo..." she called out, a hint of fatigue in her voice, "I'm home."

@Romi

Though she was far from complacent, Caelin made sure to close the door softly behind her, careful to avoid letting it slam. When she turned, she was met with Angelo's face. Although she was expecting his presence, it nevertheless prompted her to gulp, and she took to wringing her hands behind her. Caelin stood before Angelo in a dark green dress, adorned with frills and lace and buttons the likes of which most only ever saw on dolls. Fragile and tiny for her age, with a persistent lisp that only just was beginning to fade, the eleven year old girl looked the picture of innocence.

The knowing gleam of guilt in her minty eyes spoke otherwise.

"Yes," Caelin answered. She licked her lips, choosing her words carefully so as not to antagonize anything further; she knew the issue would be addressed, of course, but there was more to her day than bickering. "I sat with Rei and made some new friends. One girl - Moema - called me pretty. And she, uhm... She did my hair?" Hoping for humor, Caelin glanced up at her nest of monkey-made braids. There was absolutely no over-arching design or... even any quality of neatness or skill. It was simply a horrid mess, and Caelin opted to grin about it even though it was sure to take hours to completely undo.

Never one for stalling, it seemed Angelo was cutting right to the chase. Caelin winced and sighed. At least she'd thought about her words on her way home.

"Yes. Please," she began. Silence pervaded for a moment as she searched for her final explanation "I met a boy named Faiz while I was talking with Rei. He's a little older but not by too much, I think. And he was really nice... sort of. Well, he was nice to Rei and I, and Moema. We all started talking - not Moema, she was a monkey - and..." Caelin paused, and lifted her eyes from the ground to meet Angelo's. "...I felt like I could relate to him. About — our pasts. And I haven't really felt like that before."

Caelin broke the eye contact, as it had always made her uncomfortable. She shifted in place. Angelo was intimidating when he wanted to be. "He seemed lonely. And sad. And I guess I can... relate to that? So when he decided to go..." Caelin swallowed thickly. "...I gave him a short hug, and I called him a beautiful person. I think... everyone should have that, at least once, you know?

"That's when Shay came in. She said hi to me, and I didn't respond 'cause I was hugging him. Maybe I should have said something anyway, though, 'cause Shay was upset when I turned around and went over to her. We got into an argument 'cause Shay said it was dangerous to hug people I don't know, and I thought that this time it was fine. 'Cause I'd been talking to Faiz for a long time and he was kind to me, and I mean..."

Caelin furrowed her brows, wondering if she should include the next part. Ultimately, she decided to do so. "...If he did hurt me, or anyone did, well, I have my poison. I can fight back. And if I can't fight back, then... Well, it's not really a big deal if I die, 'cause I come back good as new in 10 minutes, and..." She met his eyes again. "I'm not sure what anyone could do to me that I don't already... know I can handle."

A dark blush quickly colored Caelin's cheeks, and she furrowed her brows in anger. "I just thought--" she began, but she cut herself off and fell into silence.

For quite some time, indignation had been Caelin's first instinct. Indignation and aggression. Defense and hostility. It was the emotion behind her old knuckle-splitting fights in the schoolyard, behind her relentless mischief and scorn. However, since the Christmas confrontation, since that one intervention, Caelin had been trying to ignore her first instinct. Her old persona - affectionate, friendly, untroubled - was the persona that everyone preferred, including Caelin herself. It was this demeanor that, over the course of the past several months, Caelin had been trying so desperately to match.

To do so, it took denying several traumas that still relentlessly haunted her - the nightmares; the phobias; the pain and anger and heartache lurking just beneath her surface. It also took the decision to acknowledge the viewpoints of others, and to ignore the insane, incessant urge to fight to the death and flee from the crime. This effort on Caelin's part was decidedly more beneficial than what else she had to do; indeed, there were both benefits and detriments to her decision, to return to being "as happy as the ocean" as she once pledged on the boat to freedom. Nevertheless, she hoped that, in spite of her periodic lapses, some progress would be made.

So, despite the impulse that called her to battle, Caelin held her tongue and truly considered Angelo's words. When she did, her face relaxed, and her rage transformed into regret.

"...You're right," Caelin admitted. Her voice was low and quiet. "Shay is right. I put people in danger and I'm sorry."

Caelin kept quiet as Angelo continued to speak, her face a genuine mixture of regret and understanding. She could only nod as her guardian finished his statement about boundaries. Honestly... Caelin didn't understand why anyone would be adverse to a hug. After years of being deprived of any kind of pleasant contact - hardly any physical contact at all - the girl was absolutely desperate for it. But, regardless of how illogical it seemed to Caelin, she had to acknowledge that Angelo was right. It would be hypocritical to assume that everyone else acted on reason, knowing that she, herself, often did not.

Upon prompting, Caelin quietly answered, "Okay," and followed Angelo's gesture. She sat down on her hands, a gesture common to her that signified anything from shyness to indignance. In this case, it was guilt. Caelin's seat of choice was a place on the couch, where Angelo could sit beside her directly, in a chair to her side, or in front of her, whichever he wished. But... she wished he would choose the couch.