Love, desire, lust, it was all a drug for her. Getting addicted and being an addiction was a regular occurrence in Winnie's life, and it was also her biggest fear. One that played out the same over and over. She didn't want to live as long as her father had. To be isolated from this curse or forced to become a monster who destroyed those she loved.
Ceidwen wasn't keen on feeling guilty for herself. She'd searched for a way out, a better lifestyle. She'd tried to ensure her daughter was always safe -- even from herself. She was a survivor, with a survivor's mentality. Come what may. Take the day as it came.
She'd picked Mia up and walked her to the forest, making small talk along the way and carrying with her a basket of homemade goods. She had led Mia to a particular section where a fire had gone rampant and blackened the trees and ground with its kiss.
Looking around at the destruction and the silence the followed it, Ceidwen walked to the center and laid down a blanket so no soot would cling to their clothing.
"This is us," she announced, motioning abstractly to the scorched land.
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Mia wasn’t sure how she was going to approach dating these days. She was well under the assumption that there would be no interest in her while she was pregnant, and after that…well, then she wouldn’t have time for dating, anyway. But then Ceidwen approached her, asked out on a date, and well…it was nice to still feel desirable, even after being dumped by her two boyfriends and becoming more noticeably pregnant. She thought she must look like a complete disaster to anyone who didn’t know her all that well, but Ceidwen was still giving her a chance. Chances. What had she done to deserve so many chances and opportunities on Manta Carlos? After a life time without them, she still had trouble accepting that, well, sometimes good things were simply allowed to happen to her.
But, Gods, the Fae woman was so beautiful. Despite her initial apprehension of dating for the time being, Mia really couldn’t imagine saying no to her. So, Ceidwen picked her up that day and they headed into the forest. Mia had worn a yellow sundress that day, clearly not anticipating being surrounded by the black ash of a scorched landscape.
This is us. Mia blinked. Considered Ceidwen’s words.
“Do you know what happened here?” Mia asked, curiosity piqued as she looked at the burnt landscape around her.
She set down the basket and took to rearranging the food in a pleasant manner when Mia asked what had happened to the land here. Ceidwen glanced at her before peering around.
Most people would have asked what Ceidwen meant, but Mia was questioning the right things, where Winnie was concerned. A smile quirked her lips, more mischievous than innocent.
"Forest fire, I believe. Likely caused by an inexperienced student. It is blacked and destitute for now, but it will grow back greener."
Ceidwen sat and patted the spot next to her, sending up a small cloud of soot that dusted her hand. "C'mon. Sit. Eat."
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“Mm, I remember those times…” Mia murmured to herself as she scanned the blackened scenery. Perhaps for her, 'inexperienced' was not quite as accurate a word as simply 'out of control', but the nonetheless results were about the same.“I never caused a forest fire, since I spent little time out in nature. But there were quite a few buildings at high risk when I was around. Thank Gods I’ve learned better control…”
Mia, having been taking in the charred forest, hadn’t even registered that Ceidwen had put out food until she prompted her to sit down.
“Ohh, Ceidwen! This is lovely…”
She soon sat at Ceidwen’s side, admiring the selection of food that Ceidwen had laid out, when something beyond the blanket caught her eye. She leaned over, blowing a bit of soot away from them to reveal a tiny plant.
“Look, a bit of the green is already starting to come back,” Mia said as she pointed out the small seedling.
“You’re right. This place is us,” Mia whispered, admiring the little spot of green surrounded by black. She smiled down fondly at the plant, before reaching over to very gently wipe some of the soot off of the tiny leaves so the green could better show from its surroundings.
"Aye, it is. We grow from damages."
Ceidwen went quiet as she set up a plate for each of them, focusing solely on the work as she thought over how much she wanted to admit to Mia.
"Truthfully, I found meself wanting to ask ye 'ere because of your particular situation." She gave a pointed look to Mia's stomach. "My husband did not run out on me," she explained. "I was given up at ten and 'ad me daughter as early as me twelve year, but... I could not bare the idea of you going through this alone."
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“Ah…” Mia looked down at her stomach, resting a hand on her small bump for a moment.“As excited as I am about having a baby, I would be lying if I didn’t say it makes me nervous too…”
She rubbed at her stomach a moment, then raised her gaze back to Ceidwen.
“I really am going into this blindly. B-but, Gods, at least I am an adult with a stable job…you were only twelve when you had your girl?”
Mia shifted closer to Ceidwen.
“That must have been…” Mia paused, bit her lip. She wasn’t quite finding the words she wanted to express.
“That must have been so hard,” she said, although that was clearly putting it mildly.
Ceidwen gave a good-natured laugh. "I do not believe the body was made to 'andle something that taxing quite so young. But I managed."
She paused, then reached forward to hover her hand over Mia's stomach without actually touching her. "Me point is. Ye not alone. Even if this date doesn't work out. That is me promise t' ye."
Ceidwen wasn't one for letting her thoughts show on her face, but very briefly the mask slipped away, and she showed the confliction she felt outwardly. Removing her hand back to her side, Ceidwen sighed forlornly.
"I must admit," began Ceidwen, "if we wish to proceed with... this... it will be difficult. The nature of me powers 'n' origin is not a pleasant one. Me people feed on love, lust, 'n' desire. We twist all good things poorly. It 'as been a constant fear of mine with me own daughter."
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Mia glanced down, watching Ceidwen’s hand as it held over her pregnant stomach before a small flush rose in her cheeks. Unlike Ceidwen and her ability to maintain a mask most of the time, Mia’s emotions were always easily read on her face.“I appreciate that, Ceidwen. You’re incredibly kind. I…” Mia paused, took a breath. “I’m just…there is so much to figure out. My head has been spinning.”
Then Ceidwen drew back a bit, and Mia only found herself wanting to draw closer in response.
“Tell me more, then. I mean…I’m a Goddess of love and lust, but I suppose it is a bit different from me. I certainly desire those things, I seek them out rather desperately if I am being perfectly honest with myself. But I don’t know if I could say I ‘feed’ off of them necessarily.”
She tilted her head, considering a moment.
"I just...crave, I suppose. And it has determined so much of my actions and behavior in the past, and gotten me into so much trouble..."
Ceidwen laughed sharply when Mia commented on how kind she was. "Oh, no, darling. I am likely the farthest thing from kind, but I appreciate yer gratitude none the less."
Tell me more then, she'd asked. Ceidwen wondered if Mia knew what she was really asking for. It felt likely that by the end of this date, Mia would be running far from her. Maybe it was for the best.
She sighed and dropped her glamour in a surge of magic. It left her about four inches taller, with long snow-white hair, blue skin, and thick horns on her head. While her eyes maintained their color, they had lost the iris and whites. It all painted a captivating but uneasy picture.
"This is what I am," she said with an elegant sweep of her hand to gesture to herself. "I am an Eros. Some call us Cupids. We are feared even among the Fae. Our crimes are not a victimless one."
For a moment, she let that settle in, all the while searching for the right words to use to express everything she was feeling. "We... crave love. Not in the romantic sense. It's like a drug. It's a drug we can never escape because there is not a thing we can do with another that does not bring about desire, admiration, love.
"Me own father kept me like a prize me younger years. He was too handsy. I was not a person ta 'im.
"I do not want to be like me father, but I wonder how long he resisted 'is curse before me. Before me sisters 'n' brothers.
"Do ye understand? I'm an addiction. No 'ealthier for ye than drugs, Mia."
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Mia watched with a wide-eyed stare as Ceidwen shifted before her eyes. She was…beautiful, but also a bit eerie.“Eros…” she repeated softly. That word was of course a familiar one to her. That was the name of a half-brother she would likely never meet, after all—and that name surely held a weight of implications that became clear as Ceidwen further explained. Addictive love. Like a drug. Like drugs she used to crave. That part made her swallow hard, and hesitate for a moment.
“Well…your father sounds awful. I would never want to do that to you. And I don’t think you would do that to me, either.”
Mia reached over to take Ceidwen’s hand in hers.
“I may not be the strongest or most impressive Goddess, but…I am a Goddess of Love. Hell, I’m related to Eros himself, the very God you are named for! I mean, I don’t know…call me an optimist, but doesn’t it feel like there is something there?”
Mia ran her free hand through her hair, smiling up at Ceidwen.
“I’m…well, I’ve never been as connected to the Love and Lust side of my Godhood as I am the Fire and Lava side, but…don’t you think we could find a way to make this work? I feel like there is something in the Love side of me that could…make this work.”
“Or am I just too much of an optimist for my own good?” Mia laughed a little at that.