Private Back on Track

Delaney came down into the student lounge by herself. Though she wished for Georgette's comfort, a voice in her head said she didn't deserve comfort. And she didn't. Horrible people don't deserve things like that. You don't deserve nice things. She nearly flinched when Hector called her name, and just managed to force a smile to her face.

"Hey, Hector." She let Hector guide her to the couch and fell back into the seat. "Hey," Her fingers tightened around her cane, "Um, Hector I- I'm so sorry." Don't cry. Don't cry. Don't freaking cry. Don't make this about yourself. Don't be selfish now.

Hector's quick hug was so needed. Delaney nuzzled close for as long as the hug lasted. Though brief, the contact had bolstered her spirits. Hector wasn't mad. He deserves to be. "She. . ." Lizzy. Lizzy was supposed to be her friend. Dela was still in shock, almost in denial. I don't deserve that. "It's not your fault." Dela managed to say over the din of her thoughts. Even the voices at the back of her mind seemed louder than usual.

Eyes turned on her. The darkness of her sight pressing close. She sucked in a deep breath, for a moment she felt as though she couldn't breathe. Her hands trembled, and the voices felt even louder. "I thought Lizzy was my friend. How could she. . ." Her feelings were tangled, tied too closely to the event that brought her friends together. The bonds they forged in facing a shared adversary were so intense it was hard to think they could ever break. Delaney owed her life to her friends, just as much as they owed theirs to her.

"I won't talk to her ever again." Delaney blurted, her voice low. Suddenly her feelings were quite clear. "I'm not. I can't!"

Delaney returned Hector's squeeze. "You don't have to say anything." She said, quiet. "I just wish. . . No, I'm going to tell the others. I'm going to tell them that Lizzy possessed you to break us up and let them do with that as they wish." Would they care? Suddenly Delaney was uncertain. Would her friends try to defend Lizzy? If they did then Delaney won't talk to them either. The vehemence in which she thought that made her pause. "I. . ." She wanted to be alone, and work through her thoughts.

You're the worst, pushing Hector away when he is only trying to help. No! She wasn't, she couldn't. "I. . . I want to go on a walk. Walk with me?" She asked and squeezed his hand again. Delaney felt like she had too much nervous energy in her. She needed to move around, to something, get out of this room.

Delaney stood with Hector's help and for the question of where she answered, "I don't really have anywhere in mind. Let's wander around campus for a bit?" She knew the school campus, and with Hector guiding her she could focus on her thoughts. She didn't want to talk, but maybe it will work out and they could walk in quiet, comfortable silence.

Delaney let Hector guide her around the school, trusting that he wouldn't lead her off the path or let her wander into hazards. It freed her mind to wander, but she ended up trying not to think of anything at all. There would never be a quiet moment to herself, not when her mind buzzed with a multitude of voices, not to mention her own particularly loud and mean one.

Delaney didn't want to think about her family, her friends (both good and crappy) or about the future. She didn't want to deal with any of her problems, maybe because she hoped it would all fix itself without her needing to do anything. It was a dumb wish and, for five minutes at least, she wanted to believe it.

Hector made a comment and she automatically hummed in agreement. Another moment, and she processed what he said. "Yeah. You know, I'm hungry. Wanna go get some pizza?" Food would be a good distraction.