Alone, forever

'I don't mean use your past or your life styles to justify friendship you don't need to push yourself to make friends either, you just become friends, come on give October one more tiny try!"

"But I don't want to, it's like putting a loner in a popular crowd. It doesn't work I'd just want to escape, they'd try to pressure me to do things I don't want to." She looked at the cliff, "If I had jumped I wouldn't have to deal with this, your getting as bad as them. The people you aviod and yet your trying to push me to be friends with people I don't feel comfortable around. People who will try to push me to not be who I am." She said looking up to the sky rain falling on her. "Sonlath if you don't understand that then maybe your just as bad as them. Out here no one tells me who to be, what to think it's just me, alone."

"I want to make sure you live with friends besides a drug addicted kid...then at least try to find more loners so you can have more friends...I just don't want you to be alone."

She sighed, "Sonlath, I'm not going to get any worse than I am. I've been to jail and even you haven't. You act as though I can't look out for myself, I chose you to be my friend because I trust you. I can relate to you, I don't need people telling me I need to go find more friends. Because friendships don't happen just like that with me." She said with a sigh, "I have to trust them, I have to believe they aren't only so called friends. Sonlath, remember how many times you pushed me back as a friend? You were keeping yourself safe, I have the same habit."

"Yet...you push on dont you."

She chuckled, "Maybe I do with you, but that's only because your my friend." She said with a smirk, she poked him. "So what are we gonna eat? Pizza?" She asked him curiously, seeing they were going to go to town to get something to eat. She wondered if he'd ever like her, she wasn't going to push it though.

"Sure whatever you want."

The girl could just imagine his thoughts, 'I need to pawn this girl off on someone else. She's so annoying always trying to kill herself, jeez I guess I should've stayed away from her.' She nodded, it sounded about right. She wasn't going to force him to accept her as a friend, if he felt she wasn't good enough for him she'd be okay. Though she couldn't promise no sucide attempts.

"Do you want anything?"

She sighed, she wanted to ask why he couldn't be satisfied with them just being friends. It was so hard on her to constantly have him wishing she had more friends. One could only assume he hated her or something by the way he always seemed to want her to get more friends. "No, not really." she said kind of sullen. All she wanted was for him to stop pressuring her and just be her friend.