A Hushed Heart to Heart

Kada

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The courtyard had a lot of bad memories recently for Alma. It was where she had attacked that other student. Lysander. His name still burned like poison on her tongue, and she remembered so vividly how in love with him she was. But she also remembered the awful symptoms his blood had hit her with.

But it was an open space. Public. She felt like she could keep herself under control here. And that was what she needed more than anything. She needed to be in control for the talk she was about to have.

The cold air bit through her jacket, but she ignored it for the most part. The few students who milled around the courtyard gave her a sense of grounding. The semester was only just starting, so she had to get this out of the way.

Alma checked her phone again, looking at the time. Aaron should be here soon. She had texted him a few times already, about when and where to meet her.

 

Saber

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Aaron's thumb rubbed the bracelet on his left wrist as he walked, with school back he'd requested to have access to one when needed, they'd allowed it only while on school grounds. In truth, he wasn't sure he could trust himself anymore, and the attack had shaken his trust in others, so he'd begun closing himself from everyone. Him and their mom and fought, and he wondered if she blamed him for all of it. So, in the end, he gave in, finished getting a dorm for himself, he hadn't told many that he was moving.

Alma had text, a location where they could meet and talk about what happened. He didn't know what he was going to say, he'd had a hard time talking anyone about anything recently, words had just become difficult. Finally he walked into the courtyard, his arms going to his sides, he felt so much guilt and self hatred, over what had happened, over everything really.

Taking a small breath, he walked over to her, stopping a little ways from her, so that she'd have distance if she wanted it. "I...," he went to say something, but found his words failing him, he was falling apart, he'd staid fed, so he was physically healthy, but still looked off and broken. "I'm so sorry," he finally said, tears appearing in his eyes though he pushed them back, once in private he'd probably break down, "I...I fucked up and I hurt you, gods I'm so sorry," he said so only she could hear, he didn't want to draw the other students' attention. He doubted he could ever be forgiven, he wasn't sure he deserved it, he didn't really understand himself anymore.
 

Kada

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As soon as Alma saw Aaron, her hand went into her pocket and pulled.ojt the stress ball she had been given. Mottled green. Not ugly, but certainly not her aesthetic. She squeezed it tight until it all but vanished in her hand, invisible inside of a clenched fist.

He was giving her distance. Which was good, but it wouldn't help Alma know.
"Aaron-" she cut him off, mid-apology. She had practiced so many different things to say, from loving to scathing, but they were all failing her now. This was her baby brother and she loved him regardless of...

Alma took a step forward. And another. Closed the distance between them. She knew about where his aura extended to, and she had to know. Just another step now and

Nothing. Alma didn't feel any of then usual effects of his aura. None of the fluttering in her stomach, none of the halo effect from those times before. Her face twisted in confusion. What was different?

"What..." was all she really managed before she noticed him fidgeting with a bracelet.
"A power bracelet?"
 

Saber

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"There...there letting me wear it during school," he explained, "I'd talked to them before about it....before the attack," he took a shaky breath. "after it..happened...they said I can't wear it outside of school because...it shuts everything off, don't even have my wings." He'd kept it as an option, in case some of his classmates started getting bothered by the aura, or if a teacher thought it was a distraction.

He fidgeted a bit more, she'd notice a bandaid on his left arm, no healing factor so he healed like a human. "I..uh...," he wasn't sure what to say, not having his powers even during school felt weird, like a bit of him was missing, he didn't trust many after the attack, but he wasn't sure he could trust himself. A few had taken the bracelet as a sign to pick up the bullying again. Like some seem to think him wearing it was a sign all the rumors were true, he was starting to doubt himself too.

"So..I'm..," he swallowed, "I'm wearing it on campus and....yeah." His left hand trembled again, he didn't want to lose her because of the damned aura, she was his family, she'd supported him when no one else cared, so he'd chosen to wear it now, so she wouldn't feel the aura.
 

Kada

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"Well, ah..." Alma felt awkward now. She squeezed the stress ball tighter. Reminding herself of why she was here.

"That's great. I mean. Taking responsibility. All that." She rubbed her arm. Uncomfortable. Awkward.

She hummed slightly, trying to ease the tension that was not going away. Finally she just blurted it out
"Do you know why I asked you to meet me here?"
 

Saber

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"Uh.....I'm moving out," he told her just as she asked why he thought she'd asked him to meet her here, "s-sorry, didn't mean to interrupt," he'd fidget, "uh...I got a dorm...moving my stuff in tomorrow." Things weren't good with mom, and with what happened he'd decided it'd be best if he was out of the picture.

This was hard, so hard, he'd fidget a bit more, listened to her quietly. "To talk? Maybe ask and tell some things?" he had things he should tell her too, about what's happening with him he supposed, she should know afterall, and he'd listen to anything she'd say.

He wished he could make things better, but there was no going back. All he could do was go forward, try to piece things back together, rebuild things with Alma, though he wouldn't blame her if she always hated him.
 

Kada

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"Oh that's..." Alma let out a laugh. She couldn't help it. It was kind of funny, how they had come to apparently the same conclusion. But probably for different reasons.
"I actually finished the paperwork earlier to get my own dorm. So, I'll be living here on campus too..."

But none of that was the point. She white knuckped the stress ball again and steadied herself. "To talk... yes... but..."

She knew precisely what there was to talk about. But the question was, did he? Valli's words echoed in her head.

"Do you know what I want to talk about though? Like, specifically. No broad strokes."
Her voice was barely a whisper now, and she moved closer to make sure he could still hear her. No one was paying them any mind, thank God. But she didn't want to cause a scene.
 

Saber

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"A-about what happened...about what we do going forward," his hands sorta gently grabbed onto his arms, he's felt like a prisoner to his own biological needs for a while now, it was like his body was telling any potential sexual encounter was needed, especially when he hadn't fed, when his head got fuzzy, but now someone he cares about got hurt, so all he could feel was how much he hated himself.

"I'll understand...," he said quietly, "if you...hate me..don't want anything to do with me." Their mom hated him now, wanted him gone, so he'd remove himself from the picture, make things better for them.

Blame, it was a funny thing, easily placed onto people. Perhaps it was his fault, or perhaps his biology had taken over, made it harder to resist such things. Either way, at the moment, he laid it all on himself and no one else, he thought any and all hated his mom felt, and even the other students gelt was justified.
 
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Kada

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"Shut up," she said, clenching her teeth. Alma wasn't sure, but she felt like Aaron was maybe focusing too hard on how this whole scenario affected him, instead of how it affected her or even them.

She let out a sigh, her grip on the stress ball loosening slightly. She was going to have to walk through this with him. She couldn't help it. She let out a small chuckle.

"You dingus. Alright..."

First thing was first. The question that underlie everything.
"Aaron, are you attracted to me?"

She wanted an honest answer. Even if this conversation ate up all of her lunch hour or more, she needed specific answers for specific questions. There was no room for vague here.
 

Saber

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"No," he answered, and he wasn't, she was his sister, he'd never felt attracted to her. Which brought up the question of what exactly happened, between his therapist and his new doctor, they'd figured out what happened, what went wrong, "I need to tell you something, but we should talk more first."

"Uh, listen, me moving out...I didn't do it to get away from you or mom," in all honesty their mother more or less kicked him out, but he didn't want to go into that right now, "I just thought that everyone needed some space to figure things out."

He took a breath, "so uh....are you ok, like physically? You're not getting sick or anything?" Their hybrid biology was so weird, they'd both gotten sick when they first started to change, "no changes or anything?" His biology was can changing again, speeding up, so hers might be too.
 
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