infamy is better than anonymity

Octain was reorganizing his office into alphabetical order. as well as year. Slowly taking his time in his office during his down time between classes while he turned around to see his daughter sitting and reading a book. It was a short story book before Octain decided to give her a novel to read. She was still young. So Octain was slowly easing her from light novels to heavy ones. She was good at reading as he knelt before her.

"Sweetie. It is time for you to return to class. I will come by to pick you up from middle school."

Then heard a knock at the door as Lexi got up and hugged him.

Opening the door as the kid walked by Catherine. Saying "excuse me! sorry!" as she ran down the hall from his office to her campus.

"Catherine? Sounds odd that you are coming to see me outside of class hours. I was just about to mark your latest work." He said. Moving out the way. Looking at the basket of cookies.

The last time someone gave him those they wanted something. Like a better mark.

He offered her a seat on his reading chair as he sat as his desk. covered in papers with the only technology being a phone as candles lit the room.

"School Club matters? I have yet to advise one. I know not of which you speak."

He said his orange eyes looking at his student rather diligently like a hawk would it's prey. Though many feared Octain. He was feared for a reason. Was powerful and potent in his arts. As a human could only hope to be. He had only one superior and he had yet to met that person.

"Though you bring forth a thesis that wishes me to ask for a more in depth description. Please explain."

He said slowly beginning to read through the papers that were given to him to mark from his students. The first one was Catherine's coincidentally

The group already had a teacher. Good. Octain didn't want to join a 'club' as he heard more and more about the group his eyes opened. Feeling his heart beat faster as he stood up and went to the window. Opening the window to get some fresh air. It was like his group he was with in his life. Just..

kids. As he closed his eyes and rubbed them for a moment. "You are right. I am one of the only at this school. Though the knowledge I have will be no good to you." He said standing up. His posture becoming slowly more intent on his answer. He wanted to do it though it was just.. He was still scared from the Circle that he was with.

"You have an adviser, and ample amount of other teachers who wield the arcane in ways such as I. Even some students are very potent. I shall not have a voice in this matter. I.. Have enough on my plate as is."

He said adamantly. His orange eyes looking at Catherine. His mask hid his face but his eyes showed that he was adamant on this and.. Somewhat afraid. Like dealing with an issue he had buried for years and kept locked away that had resurfaced. Clawing it's way into his head once more.

Hearing her call bullshit and stand up Octain seemed unphased by the sentiment. His eyes narrowed to her. Watching the books and such slowly move together he stood up himself. Slamming his hands on his desk. "I do not Deny the facts. I am one of the finest wizards humanity has ever seen or has the grasp of! You know this for a fact. I may be the finest in theory. It is my life. Look around. All these books? Are my theories. My life's work. My title isn't meaningless. It is who I am. What I was grown to be! Yet here you are. ASKING ME TO RELIVE MY PAST."

She wasn't an irrational creature? Seemly she was if she wouldn't take a simple no as an answer as he wanted to keep his past a secret but the idea of telling it seemed... New to him. He moved to the window and removed his mask. Placing it on the table. The light casting a perfect shadow over his face. Speaking in his native tongue for a few moments before talking. "Who ever said you were a fool Catherine? Did I speak those words? You have the highest grades in the class. Always show up early and always eager to find faults or questions to ask. Perform admirably during practicals." He said. Dodging the subject temporarily as he kept his eyes out the window. Picking up his mask once more. Placing it on to look at Cathy once more. "T'was over Five years ago. A circle of mages looked into taking over the world using magic. I had originally gone there to destroy them regardless. They were the worst of what mages had to offer when I found out their true plan. I dedicated my time to stopping them. Killing each one who followed this idea. Which was all of them. Then.. Spent one long year fighting their leader. He was a powerful wizard. Though.. I was.. Twenty five at the time. Yet have enough stories to be over Sixty. Ever since then. I have never liked the idea of groups of mages. Keeping my space from them when I can. Which is why. I. Work. Alone. I won't be a part of one. Even a school group." Then he spoke lightly at his hand. Open until he spoke as he clenched his hand. "Not until I can wash this blood off my hands."

The sleepless nights caught up to him. Hearing voices in his head screaming not to kill them. Not to harm them. Those he knew all of his life. As he slumped back into his chair. "I can't... Not again.."

He looked at a book on his desk. Trying to keep face, it was the help of the mask that kept his facial expressions hidden. Looking at the book he opened it. Only seeing the words 'SAVE US, HELP US! WHY ORAIS!?' Even the voices echoed in his head. The sins he committed. The rules he broke. For his own gain. Yet saving the world in process. He could feel the voices clawing in his head. Only snapping out of it when he would be spoken to next.

Octain closed the book and rubbed his eyes. Gazing at the shadow of Cathy. He closed his eyes and sighed. "The Coven sounds like a great idea. Circles were the same once. A time.. A place where Mages were free to do as they please. To be with ones they loved and care for. were willing to die for." He said leaning his head back and looking up at the ceiling. "I take it you pieced together that I had killed to save the world from being destroyed.." He said. His eyes just looking at the bare ceiling unlike his walls. Cluttered with books and all. "I wish to create a safe haven for Warlocks, witches and mages a like. Those who are afraid of their powers. Or those who can control them. My goal is create one.. A heaven. A place of solitude. Somewhere in the skies. No nations. No rules.."

Octain heard her idea. That she was taunting him almost to help. He wanted to. Just.. Opening an old scab and pouring salt on the wound as he looked over to her and stood up. "I.. shall give it thought. You will know my answer when you hold your next meeting." He said holding her hand. "You could try. I cannot accept my own death. Let alone this." As he grinned under his mask, his eyes showed a smile though. He finally opened up about something. "we all have our own selfish desires. some love some greed. Yet we all follow our own will. It's is a dangerous ally to have."

He took his hand away from her and sat back at his desk. "I will promise you an answer, either I act. Or allow my fears to control me. On your next meeting. We shall not speak of this prior to or before hand." He said. Looking at his work once more. "anything else?"

"Maybe one day I may be able to forgive myself. Have a good day Cathy." He said. When Cathy went for the door he look at his work. The words were jumbled as she left and Octain removed his mask. Looking up to the sky as he tried to find out the right thing to do. Holding his hand out like he was trying to reach out for something.

Someone in this school admired him. As a professor and as a person. That should be enough for him to quench his want to be redeemed for what he did. Even if it wasn't the right choice. he did what he felt was right.

He spoke in english, common tongue as his hand looked like it was going to grab someones hand. "Mother.. I hope father is with you.. That you are happy.. It is a shame I had not met you. Help me.." He said standing up. Ignoring his work.

Not wanting to hide his face in books anymore. His eyes hazel as his face shown through the light. Tracing his finger along his scar. Trying to make sense of it all. closing his eyes as he took a deep breath. "Maybe.. It is time for me to live up to the expectation.. I've cowered enough in your shadow. You can't haunt me anymore father.. I have a daughter.. Someone in my heart who needs me. I cannot be held back by you. I will recreate what was started long ago. A heaven. A safe place for those of us who wish to study. No nations to lead us. Upon my mountain.." He said as he went to his desk his eyes moved to a hutch that held his mantle. A grim reminder of his title and what he had done.

"As I, the last Magistar of this decade shall walk the earth with no more regrets. Only love for my fellow wizard. I shall speak thew words of my fore fathers, and those before them. Mantle of the Magistar. Grant me strength to remake what I have lost.."

Then he spoke in the tongue of the Cryptics as he dropped his cloak. Undoing the chains as he took the mantle and placed it on him. It's magic formed to Octain as he picked up the cloak. Looking at the door with his orange eyes. "And now... We wait.."