Private Who here would ever understand?

"There are many books here. I suppose it makes sense that people would write as well." Maarab shrugged, still a little uneasy, though his snicker at the idea of a diary that burst into flames was genuine. "I do not have much to hide here. Aside from the confusing list of things that are not to be talked about in public for some obscure reason, it is not as if I have any secret knowledge. This island is free with it."

Maarab frowned in thought then nodded. He did not have enough experience to even guess if writing would help or not. Either way he would take the advice. "Scattered thoughts are definitely... Fighting helps with those. Though sometimes. .. perhaps not as much as it used to." There was noticeable hesitation on the last sentence, he balked at admitting this weakness out loud.

"I did change." Maarab bit out the words and looked away, as much as could while still keeping an eye on Vito. He did not know the other man enough to let down his guard that much. Lost in memories, he stayed silent for a moment.

"Calm is not exactly the right word. Home offered more opportunity for violence. It was encouraged. Even more so when the fighting was paused. But here- there is too much time to think. And people value other things than obedience." Maarab's hand went to his neck again and he frowned, wings invisibly beating against the chairback.

"I was never supposed to be here so long. When I finally returned home, I was meant to stay there... I intended to stay there, and bear my punishments, and obey until I fit again." Stopping to catch a breath, Maarab lapsed back into silence except for a short empty laugh.

Maarab nodded, more in acknowledgment of Vito's musings than as an answer. He stayed silent a little longer, looking at his hands, the shadows, anywhere but directly at the other man.

The question was expected, even though no one else had come right out and asked him. It was one he had asked himself more than a few times, each time he became overwhelmed by how different this place was from home, quite often. He still had been unable to answer it. "Why did I come back?" Saying it out loud did not really help. "It was not because of the punishments. Even if they had not been so light, punishment would not have driven me- ha! I never rebelled before!"

Maarab's eye widened at his exclamation before he shrugged as if it did not matter to him. Now that it came down to it, he was less than eager to talk about the decisions he had made. But he refused to be a coward, so he made the attempt to corral his scattered thoughts into a hopefully intelligible explanation. "I was collared. My father- he made foolish errors. There is revolution brewing and he- a good leader should not need to resort to mind control. And then I had an opportunity to escape." He struggled to reign in his contempt, mostly managing to keep the disgust from his voice until the last sentence.

Maarab laughed with a bit more humour at finding himself in the familiar situation of having the person he was talking to focus on something he would never consider to be an issue. "His parenting skills are beside the point. He is the archdemon. He is - was my leader, still is the leader of the outpost. And he-" Maarab broke off then, gesturing to the scar around his neck, "the collars are for dogs. And it was wholly unnecessary. He never gave me any orders I would not have obeyed without it."

He became less amused as he continued, his grin a mockery. "Silencing me did nothing to discourage the ones who actually wanted to rebel. And if he thought I was dangerous- I should never have had the opportunity to escape. It was so easy. He threw me to his lieutenants. " Maarab clenched his fist and spat out. "I suppose he got them to agree to it because they could not handle me without one and being half angel was sufficient excuse."

"It was foolish." There was not much more to say about the archdemon's decisions than that. Maarab felt no need to argue with Vito's conclusion, considering that it was most likely accurate. It was not even as insulting as his own thoughts on the matter. A troubling idea that left him more reluctant to speak.

However, sitting there staring at the man helped with nothing. His thoughts were too jumbled to stay silent for long. "He already had my obedience. The others..." Maarab trailed off with a choked laugh. Then he shook his head and shrugged. There were things he was not ready to face just yet.

"If he had not left me the opportunity, I would not have left... There is too much change everywhere."