Like I've never seen the sky before

So, what are you doing up here anyway?


"It's the only place I feel at ease." She thought of her past, "I was captured by the killers, and brought to a training camp for assasins." She said without thinking, she leaned back on the edge of the roof looking up at the stars. "No one there was allowed to talk to anyone, if you did you could get beaten or worse. Especially if it was about escaping." She pointed up to a star, "That star was always shining for me whenever I felt I couldn't go on." She said looking at a small star without much light. She sighed, "Out of all the girls and boys that entered the academy I was the only one that could help them escape. I was the highest child assasin that had nothing to lose, I could only get about half of them free before they caught up." She clenched her fist, "It's not right to murder one's parents and dishonor their name by making them assasins that kill innocent people." She felt so bitter towards the people that did that to her.

She sighed, "I'm sorry, whenever I think about it I just get angry." She sat up her eyes looking down. She had tons of scars from her past, she hated that she could never get back the things she lost. She probably wouldn't have killed a lot of her captors if she hadn't had something push her over the edge. She'd never forgive them for it, she'd never let anyone know. She felt ashamed as it was being a killer, and if she ever told anyone her full past she'd never be able to keep herself from breaking down. That was as much as she could say without losing her cool.

Let's have some fun, Rowena.

She cocked her head, she barely remembered something called fun. She couldn't remember it much, because she blotted out her past when she was little besides the point it was foggy because she was so young and carefree. What did keep her going on, was a question not even she knew the direct answer to. Revenge? A dim hope of change in fate? Hate? Anger? She didn't know, she knew her life was hard even now she couldn't imagine smiling and meaning it or actually laughing. She didn't know if she should go or not, would it only make things worse? Getting attatched to someone, or actually softening up her assasin cold heart.

She needed a push, she stood there confused and overwealmed. Should she follow? She took a step forward and stopped, she wasn inwardly afraid of changing or forgetting. If she forgot she might lose her strength, if she actually did something 'fun' how would it effect her. What was fun? She lowered her head, she was too afraid of getting hurt. She was afraid of possibly having pain caused from this new aquaintance. Maybe because she wished to find a friend and was afraid. She stood there, she wasn't doing well spiritually. Each day took a toll on her, she was strong to some, but to herself she was weak. If she had been stronger her parents wouldn't have been murdered in front of her. The tear in her heart remained unwilling to fall.

We all need a friend once and a while. Come on.

She accepted his hand, she couldn't smile. Her past was too painful for it to leave her mind completely. But she could at least try, she'd follow him. She walked closer to him, her hand not leaving his because she was too afraid to let go. She needed something to hold onto, some thread of hope even if it was small. She was too alone, it's true her parents wouldn't have been happy that she was so sad and alone. She had tried her best to protect the family name of Rusell but she feared it wasn't good enough.

She let herself be led by him, she looked up slowly. She looked less harmful when she was afraid or unsure. Assasins weren't allowed to feel things, to have feelings, but she wasn't a assasin anymore. She had a right to feel afraid and unsure. She looked at him, her eyes looked lonely and afraid at the same time.